Just A Few More





A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend’s houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. – Matt Groening


An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. - Dwight D. Eisenhower


Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have—so spend it wisely. - Kay Lyons


I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. -  Mother Theresa


My doctor gave me two weeks to live.  I hope they’re in August. – Ronnie Shakes


Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings so that you shall come easily by what others have labored hard for. – Socrates


Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman


Nothing lowers the level of conversation more than raising the voice. - Stanley Horowitz


I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time. - Anna Freud


The value of an idea lies in the using of it. - Thomas Edison


The best thing you can do is get good at being you. -  Dennis the Menace


Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. – Doug Larson


You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going – P.J. O’Rourke


It doesn't matter if you try and try and try again, and fail. It does matter if you try and fail, and fail to try again. - Charles F. Kettering


Discovery is seeing what everybody else has seen, and thinking what nobody else has thought. - Albert Szent-Gyorgi


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain


Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but doesn't get
you anywhere. - Unknown


Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. - Kin Hubbard


God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. - Unknown


A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. - Wilson Mizner


A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. - Burt Bacharach


Happiness depends upon ourselves. -  Aristotle


I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it. - Samuel Goldwyn


Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katharine Hepburn


I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush


Sometimes the answer to prayer is not that it changes life, but that it changes you. – James Dillet Freeman


We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. - George Bernard Shaw


After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.' - Ronnie Shakes


Character is who you are when no one is watching – Unknown


Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together. - Vincent Van Gogh


Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature! - George Bernard Shaw


Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor


When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby


Life is full of obstacle illusions. - Grant Frazier


Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall. - Oliver Goldsmith


A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn


Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy. - Charles Peters


Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain


Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. – Dr. Laurence J. Peter


A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope


It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others. - John Andrews Holmes


Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time. - Malcolm Muggeridge


I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. - Henry David Thoreau


You can fool too many of the people too much of the time. - James Thurber


Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. - Jane Wagner


A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else. - Len Wein


Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. - Mae West


Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. - Dennis Wholey


Life is the movie you see through your own eyes. It makes little difference what's happening out there. It's how you take it that counts. - Denis Waitley


Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. - Robert Byrne


As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. - Hagar the Horrible


It's not what you are that holds you back.  It's what you think you're not. - Denis Waitley


That's why many fail; because they don't get started. They don't go. They don't overcome inertia.  They don't begin. - W. Clement Stone


I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. - Groucho Marx


Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Albert Einstein

If you want to work for world peace, go home and love your families. - Mother Teresa


There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something. – Peter Kay


The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house. – Unknown


An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. - Laurence J. Peter


An ounce of action is worth a ton of good intentions. - Michael Josephson


I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is. - Will Durst


If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves. - Thomas Edison


On performance: Do your best, then don t worry about it! - Kent Krive


The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. - Friedrich Nietzsche


The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires. – Dorothy Parker


I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. - Charles M. Schulz


If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company. - Jean-Paul Sartre


I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day. - Abraham Lincoln


Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. - ­ Carl Jung


You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result. - Mahatma Gandhi


Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. - Mark Twain


My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine. – Unknown


As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job. - Roseanne Barr


O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. - Saint Augustine


Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams


Success is a lousy teacher.  It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose. – Bill Gates


A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. - Wilson Mizner


In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it. - Unknown


Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. - Steven Wright

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo Galilei


I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Sir Winston Churchill


The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife-a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. – Woody Allen


Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. -  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.


If you are going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it. - Leo Rosten


Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods - cats have never forgotten this. - Unknown


I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. - Marshall McLuhan


The earth is like a spaceship that didn't come with an operating manual. - Buckminster Fuller


Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost


Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it. - Don Marquis


In politics, sincerity is everything.  Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made. -  Groucho Marx


One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. - Bertrand Russell


Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care. - William Safire


Half of being smart is knowing what you are dumb about. - Solomon Short


People are disturbed not by things, but by their perception of things. – Epictetus


There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking. - Thomas A. Edison


And that's the world in a nutshell, an appropriate receptacle. - Stan Dunn


My wife was afraid of the dark, saw me naked, and now she’s afraid of the light. – Rodney Dangerfield


When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. - Arthur C. Clarke


There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on. - Robert Byrne


I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. - Douglas Adams


Even very young children need to be informed about dying.  Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child.  This will make threatening him with it much more effective. – P.J. O’Rourke


Don’t believe everything you think. – Maxine


As long as you stand in your own way, what does it matter what other obstacles you face? - Unknown


If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport. - George Winters


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better. - Ed Howe


Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions. - Albert Einstein


I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. - Jimmy Dean


God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project. - Unknown


Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway. - John Wayne


Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying – Fran Lebowitz


It's not how much you have that makes people look up to you, it's who you are. - Elvis Presley


There is no nobility in being superior to another person.  True nobility lies in being superior to your previous self. – Hindu proverb


The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing. – Jean-Baptiste Colbert


All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things. - Bobby Knight


I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty. - Nancy Reagan


An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. - Mahatma Gandhi


Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. - Unknown


The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. - William James


God’s OK.  It’s his fan club that’s screwed up. – Mark Casoli


Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. – Dr. Joyce Brothers


The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie. – Ann Landers


I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding. – Dave Barry


It's kind of fun to do the impossible. - Walt Disney


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