Good Grief! More Quotes…?




I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge. - Edward Chilton


Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. - Thomas Jefferson


My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. - Rita Rudner


Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a huge research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan


The best year-round temperature is a warm heart and a cool head. – Unknown


A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. - Segal's Law


The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet. – Ann Landers


Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. – Doug Larson


As long as you can laugh at yourself you will never cease to be amused. – Unknown


Tug on anything at all and you'll find it connected to everything else in the universe. - John Muir


Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. - Franklin P. Jones


The greatest mistake a man can ever make is to be afraid of making one. - Elbert Hubbard


Sometime they’ll give a war and nobody will come. – Carl Sandburg


People with goals succeed because they know where they're going. - Earl Nightingale


I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. - Samuel Goldwyn


Your thoughts control your life. - Robert Stuberg


Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. – Oscar Wilde


The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. - Mark Twain


Within the perfect situation, not everything is perfect. – Gene Simmons


When the mind is thinking it is talking to itself. – Plato


The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor. - Vince Lombardi


A mate gave me a photo & said, "Here's a pic of me when I was younger." Twonk! Every photo of you is when you were younger. – “Gene Hunt”


Like what you do, if you don't like it, do something else. - Paul Harvey


Joy doesn't exist in the world, it exists in us. – Benjamin Franklin


The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - The Buddha


Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. - Thomas Edison


People wait for opportunity to come along...yet it is there every morning. - Dennis the Menace


Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it. – Confucius


I've spent 95% of my money on women and drink....the rest of it I've wasted. – “Gene Hunt”


An overdose of praise is like 10 lumps of sugar in coffee; only a very few people can swallow it. - Emily Post


Worry is the misuse of imagination. – Unknown


I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity. – Tom Stoppard


The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back. – Franklin P. Jones


The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen all at once. – Albert Einstein


People are only what we believe them to be. – Gene Simmons


The first key to success is deciding exactly what it is you want in life. - W.L. Hunt


Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was. - Margaret Mitchell


Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. - J. Martin Kohe


If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. - Bill Vaughan


Speak what you feel, not what you ought to say. - William Shakespeare


The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. - e e cummings


The art of living deliberately is the art of examining this vast storehouse of beliefs, dropping the outmoded ones, consciously choosing those that serve your goals, and carefully crafting new ones in greatest alignment with your desires. - Richard Bishop


The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. – Franklin P. Jones


If you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun. - Katherine Hepburn


I hate women because they always know where things are. – James Thurber


Most people tiptoe their way through life, hoping to make it safely to death. - Bob Proctor


Man's mind once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimension. - Oliver Wendell Holmes


The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth. - Charles Luckman


Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain


Anyone who sleeps like a baby doesn’t have a baby! - Unknown


Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. - Oscar Wilde


The country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. – Will Rogers


Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz


-Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Space isn’t remote at all. It’s only an hour’s drive away if your car could go straight upwards. – Fred Hoyle


Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns


I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing. - Buddy Hackett


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain


Remember, no human condition is ever permanent. Then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune nor too scornful in misfortune. – Socrates


Excellence is the difference between what I do and what I am capable of. – Unknown


Why is it that most of the folks I know think “personal growth” is caused entirely by those second and third helpings of biscuits and gravy? – Gene Simmons


The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it. - Chinese Proverb


At home I have a map of the United States – actual size.  I spent all last summer folding it. – Steven Wright


Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. - Robert Orben


You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. - Indira Gandhi


Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen. - Martin Mull


God not only sends special angels into our lives, but sometimes He even sends them back again if we forget to take notes the first time! - Eileen Elias Freeman


Money and success don t change people; they merely amplify what is already there. - Will Smith


Life is never so bad at its worst that it is impossible to live; it is never so good at its best that it is easy to live. -  Unknown


When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. - Eric Hoffer


Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - The Buddha


Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself. - Friedrich Nietzsche


I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. - E. V. Lucas


Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. - Samuel Butler


When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion. - Abraham Lincoln


Ask yourself this question: Is my attitude worth catching? – Anonymous


There’s only one direction you can coast. - Brian Tracy


Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. – Robert Heinlein


Be yourself. Who else is better qualified? - Frank Giblin, II


After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed. - De La Lastra's Law


Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby


I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. - Rita Mae Brown



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