Holy Smokes… More Quotes




Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him. – Aldous Huxley


Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. – Unknown


Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you – Carl Sandburg


If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one. - Mother Teresa


There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L. M. Boyd


If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it. – Herodotus


Most people are so busy living they neglect to take the time to ask why. – Gene Simmons


Your rewards will be determined by the extent of your contribution, that is your service to others. - Earl Nightingale


When you have told anyone you have left him a legacy the only decent thing to do is die at once. – Samuel Butler


One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who have only interest. – John Stewart Mill


What concerns me is not the way things are but rather the way people think things are. -  Epictetus


Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough. – Earl Wilson


Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you. - Frank Lloyd Wright


The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better. - Barbara Pletcher


A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. - Woody Allen


It is bad luck to be superstitious. - Andrew W. Mathis


If you can’t be a highway, just be a trail. If you can’t be the sun, be a star. It isn’t by size that you win or you fail, it’s by being the best of whatever you are. –Unknown


In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these. - Paul Harvey


We have met the enemy and he is us. – Pogo (Walt Kelly)


I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one iota. – Fran Lebowitz


The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. – Bertrand Russell


If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow – sleep late. – Henny Youngman


If there's no wind, row. -  Unknown


Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. – Dale Carnegie


Until you walk a mile in another man’s moccasins you can’t imagine the smell. – Robert Byrne


Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him. - Louis L'Amour


Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep. – Fran Lebowitz


Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress. - Alfred A. Montapert


Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States.  Ask any Indian. – Robert Orben


What's going on in the inside, shows on the outside. - Earl Nightingale


A man is literally what he thinks. - Abraham Lincoln


To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being. - John Lubbock


Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some. - Jose Marti


Don’t take life so serious, son, it ain’t nohow permanent. – Pogo (Walt Kelly)


Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless. - Jamie Paolinetti


They certainly give very strange names to diseases. - Plato


I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. - Victor Hugo


A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. - David Brinkley


Argue for your limitations and they are yours. - Richard Bach


I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages. - William H. Mauldin


It matters not what road we take but rather what we become on the journey. - Michael E. Angier


The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F. Kennedy


A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on. – Carl Sandburg


Like its politicians and its war, society has the teenagers it deserves. – Joseph Priestley


Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses. - Margaret Millar


My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. – Benjamin Disraeli


Over every mountain there is a path, although it may not be seen from the valley. - James Rogers


Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. - Rita Rudner


If we are forced, at every hour, to watch or listen to horrible events, this constant stream of ghastly impressions will deprive even the most delicate among us of all respect for humanity. – Cicero


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. - Steve Jobs


No matter where you go… there you are. – Buckaroo Banzai


Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected. – Robert Orben


I don't like people who are in politics for themselves and not for others. You want that, you can go into show business. - Elvis Presley


Every single one of us can do things that no one else can do - can love things that no one else can love. We are like violins. We can be used for doorstops, or we can make music. You know what to do. - Barbara Sher


My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses.  Drinks right out of the bottle. – Henny Youngman


The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. – Michelangelo


Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength. - Eric Hoffer


Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.  - W. C. Fields


Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house... let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. - Mother Teresa


Eternity’s a terrible thought.  I mean, where’s it all going to end? – Tom Stoppard


Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket. – Unknown


Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. - General George Patton


Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. - Anne Frank


Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. – Peter Kay


That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong. - William J. H. Boetcker


Do your work with your whole heart, and you will succeed - there's so little competition. - Elbert Hubbard


It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. - Harry S Truman


By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadworth


Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. - Cicely Tyson


I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting. – Ronald Reagan


We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible. - Vince Lombardi


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence. - H. L. Mencken


When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. - Jimi Hendrix


I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the light. – Rita Rudner


In the end, everything is a gag. - Charlie Chaplin


The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” – Ronald Reagan


It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. - W. Somerset Maugham


It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. - Jerome K. Jerome


If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at age 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation. – Tom Stoppard


The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm. -  Swedish proverb


A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. Unknown


I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle.  It wasn’t mine. – Rita Rudner


God doesn't require that we succeed; He only requires that we try. - Mother Theresa


Man's mind is not a container to be filled but rather a fire to be kindled. - Charles Kettering


Quality means doing it right when no one is looking. - Henry Ford


When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? - George Carlin


You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, “My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!” - Dave Barry


The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams. - Eleanor Roosevelt


If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings. - Brian Tracy


The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin


Envy someone an' it pulls you down. Admire them and it builds you up. Which makes more sense? - Elvis Presley


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - Aldous Huxley


I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table. - Rodney Dangerfield


A day without laughter is a day wasted. - Charlie Chaplin


Outside noisy, inside empty. -  Chinese Proverb


Being right half the time beats being half-right all the time. - Malcolm S. Forbes


Talk is cheap. Words are plentiful. Deeds are precious. - H Ross Perot


The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination. - John Schaar


Life is too important to take seriously. - Oscar Wilde


Having more money does not insure happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars. - Hobart Brown


Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure. - Thomas Edison


As age comes on, one source of enjoyment after another is closed, but Nature's sources never fail. Like a generous host, she offers her brimming cups in endless
variety, served in a grand hall, the sky its ceiling, the mountains its walls, decorated with glorious paintings and enlivened with bands of music ever playing. - John Muir


Never eat more than you can lift. – Miss Piggy


When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld


I read a book on levitation the other day.  I couldn’t put it down. – Unknown


Somebody does somethin' stupid, that's human. They don't stop when they see it's wrong, that's a fool. - Elvis Presley


Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. - Doug Larson


Every person is the creation of himself, the image of his own thinking and believing. As individuals think and believe, so they are. - Karl Wilhelm von Humboldt


The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever. – Anatole France


Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck


What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen


At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin


People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. – Ralph Waldo Emerson


One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do. - Henry Ford


Children are apt to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson


Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon


There is always a well-known solution to every human problem--neat, plausible, and wrong. - H. L. Mencken


Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. – Unknown


Try?  There is no try.  There is only do or not do. – Yoda


One nice thing about egotists... they don't talk about other people. - Steven Wright


It's hard to beat a person who never gives up. - Babe Ruth


If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito. - Betty Reese


Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us. - Earl Nightingale


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement. – Snoopy (Charles M. Schulz)




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