Practice, Practice, Practice
by: Skye Thomas
It may
sound silly but the key to self-confidence and building more self-esteem is
through practice. Practice what it is you want to feel more confident about and
eventually, the confidence will show itself. That makes sense if we're talking
about a skill like playing the piano. With enough practice, you naturally begin
to get good at it and then you feel more confident. But what about tougher
things like public speaking or meeting new people? How do you practice
something that you're terrified to do in the first place?
If you
have extreme self-esteem issues then you might want to seek professional help,
but if you've determined that isn't necessary, I would suggest that you start
out by finding something that you genuinely love to do. Other than maybe
reading books or doing crossword puzzles over coffee, most hobbies are a good
place to start. Do you love to paint? Do you love to play a musical instrument?
Do you love athletics? Find something that you love to do or that you think you
would love to do. It's not important what it is other than that it would bring
you into contact with people on a tiny level. Unless you're living in a cave
somewhere, somebody is going to see your art work, hear your music, or see you
running around practicing your sport. You don't have to pick a big team
oriented thing, just something that fascinates you and will be noticeable. Then
do it. Learn to draw, take music lessons, start playing basketball in your own
driveway, whatever, just start doing something that you can really enjoy.
Keep
doing it until you get really good at it. It doesn't have to necessarily be
your career, but that would be fun for you if it was. Practice often and with
complete joy. Lose yourself in it. That's part of overcoming self-confidence
issues is forgetting to think about you. Swim laps at the pool until you forget
to care how you look. Get lost in something other than analyzing yourself. Fall
in love with some hobby that takes your mind away from what others might think
of you. Just keep practicing something you love until you get really good at
it. It's your hobby and your love, so don't make any judgments over whether or
not it's stupid to like doing whatever it is that you like doing. Just get on with
it.
When
you're in the moment -- writing music or designing websites or whatever it is
you've chosen, take a moment to reflect on how far
you've come. At some point, you're going to realize that you're not too bad. At
another point, you'll even think, "Hey, I'm pretty good at this."
Someday, you'll look up and notice that you're an expert or at the very least
awesome at what you've chosen to do. Take that growing self-confidence that's
connected to your hobby and begin channeling it into other areas. Depending on
how much of a self-esteem problem you started out with it could be a matter of
months or years before you are able to really see yourself in a new light. It's
one thing to say that everyone has their unique and special talent. It's quite
another to find and embrace your own.
Your
talent will not be something you hate doing. Sure, I'm really very good at
scrubbing the bathroom. You can conduct a white glove inspection when I'm done,
but that's not my special talent. That's not my special gift to the world. And
it sure as heck never built an ounce of self-confidence for me. No, you have to
really truly deeply love what it is you're doing or the talent won't show
itself. You have to forget to think and lose all track of time while zoning out
in the flow of creating, building, stretching, and growing with the hobby. Get
to the point that when you look up and notice what you've done, that you're
impressed with yourself. Practice until you get to that point where you forget
to judge yourself. You could very well end up making it into your career if
there's a market for it. If there isn't, no harm done.
You have got to build a can-do attitude around your ability to do something
well.
Once
you've learned something that well, you can begin stretching beyond your
comfort zone and trying other things like public speaking. Okay so that might
not happen right away, but once you've really mastered something, then you can
always remind yourself that you are capable of success and you are capable of
learning something new. Once you know that you can practice and learn new
things, then the fear of new things isn't nearly so
immobilizing. You can step beyond your fears knowing that with enough practice
you can master almost anything you set your mind to. At that point, you won't
actually have a self-esteem problem anymore.
The
point is that by playing around with something you love until you are very good
at it, you will gain self-esteem and that is going to make it possible for you
to hold your head high and to bravely step into other more frightening areas of
life. Start out by practicing at something you love until you're good at it,
then move on to the other things that don't sound like much fun at all. You'll
really know deep down that there's nothing to be afraid of. It all comes down
to whether or not you believe that you are capable of learning something new.
That's all. Self-confident people reassure themselves when walking into unknown
territory by saying, "Well, I'll just have to wing it until I learn how to
do it right. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough." That comes from
experiencing the positive effects of having practiced and learned something
new. So go learn something new -- start with something fun.
Copyright
2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
|
About
The Author Skye
Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps
of faith. She became a writer in 1999
after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal
growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books, articles, and astrological
forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves
to the pursuit of happiness. To read
more of her articles and to sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, go
to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To download free previews of her books, go
to www.SkyeThomas.com. |
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