Recreating Yourself
by: Skye Thomas
So it's
time for a change. You've taken that hard look in the mirror and you've decided
that who you are is not who you want to be. Or perhaps
you're standing at a fork in the road and where you'd like to go requires that
you make some changes. Maybe you're just really bored with your life as you've
been in that same old rut for so long that you just want to scream if you spend
another day doing the same amazingly boring things all over again. The reasons
for change are as varied as the people making the decision to do so. The only
thing you have to remember is that the change must come from you, not from
someone else. And it can't be a gift to someone else, it won't work.
Ultimately, recreating ourselves is a very personal choice and a very personal
decision that others really can't help us with.
Your
wife thinks you drink too much and should quit. Your parents think you screw
off too much and need to pull better grades. Your boss thinks you're a slacker
and you need to be more professional. If the people in your life are hammering
you to change, then it may be time to take a long hard look in the mirror. To
some extent you have to be open to the idea that they may be right. However,
they aren't you. They can't walk in your shoes. Nobody can completely totally
understand another person. Only you really know what is right for you. Only you
can pick your path in life, who you choose to walk
with along the way, and what kind of person you are while traveling. Some
people are misunderstood visionary geniuses. Others are simply rebellious and
lazy. Most of us fall somewhere in between. You cannot let others dictate who
or what you are to become. The choice to recreate yourself
must come from within.
Now if
you've looked deep within and you've decided that you want to change because
you would be happier, then it's time to start. My personal moment came when I
realized that I was only twenty-five and was never ever going to fall in love
again and was going to be shattered and heartbroken for another fifty years or
so before I'd finally get to roll over and die. A very morbid thought I know,
but that's exactly my point. At some point you do the math asking yourself,
"If I stay just like this - on this path - with this mindset - with this
income level - with these people surrounding me - with this lifestyle - How
will my life look in five years? In ten? In fifty?" It can be an incredibly sobering and
depressing answer. Mine was, so I made a decision to change who I was so that
the next fifty years would at least be different with a chance of happiness. I
think we can safely assume that if you're reading this, then you aren't one of
those people who is happily moving through life on a
path they love, with people they love, and an attitude that is a joy to behold.
If that is you, thank you! Please continue to role model it for everyone else
and whenever possible cheer someone on as they make the changes to do the same.
As for the rest of us who've hit that point where after analysis we've decided
to make a fresh start as someone else other than who
we are, where do we start?
The
first thing I would recommend is looking at your natural gifts. In some other
articles I've given some exercises and such to find some of the core pieces of yourself. It doesn't matter if you take some of those
personality tests like the Meyers-Briggs or any others. The idea is that there
are certain core aspects of ourselves that are never
really going to change very much. For example, you like to work alone or as
part of a team. You may be extremely introverted or extroverted. You may be
incredibly musical or you may be very mathematical. Whatever the gifts and
challenges you were born with are what they are.
Recreating yourself isn't about denying the root of who you are. It's about
molding and shaping the other things like attitude and such.
I
wanted to become one of those people who had lots of self-confidence and was
dynamic and bubbly. I wanted to be one of those people who could laugh out loud
at a joke and not feel self-conscious that I might sound like a donkey - hee haaaaaw!! Along with picking
a new career path that flattered my real skills and the lifestyle I wanted to
move towards, I began pretending that I was one of those women who walked tall
and proud. I pretended that people liked me and found me fascinating. I
pretended that I had my act together. There came a day about a year later when
I realized that I wasn't faking it anymore. I've been quite a character ever
since!
Now a
word of warning... sometimes the people who knew us before we made all of the
personal changes refuse to see us as new and improved. That's especially true
of family members. They knew you when you were a whiny kid. They knew you when
you went through that really bad divorce and turned into a real nutcase.
Sometimes they have their own ugly issues to work out and are bitter that you
are role modeling positive changes. This is easier said then done, but believe
me when I say this - It's none of your business what they think of you. You
didn't change yourself so that they would like you better. You changed so that
you would like you better. Hold your head up high and laugh out loud with
confidence and joy. Don't allow anyone to take your new life away from you.
Copyright
2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
|
About
The Author Skye
Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps
of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying
spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books, articles, and
astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to
recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles
and to sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To download free previews of her
books, go to www.SkyeThomas.com. |
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