Why You Must
Stop Setting Goals
by: Maya Talisman Frost
My goal in life is to have no
goals. They get in the way of true progress.
Plenty of successful people
swear by goal setting. They're praising the wrong behavior. Brain research
tells us that the goals don't matter--it's the intention that gets us where we
want to go.
Intentions and goals are not the
same. Goals tend to be arbitrary and number-oriented, such as the number of
pounds lost, amount of money earned, number of hours spent in the gym, number
of new clients introduced or new products developed. Intentions are big-picture
statements about what fulfills you. It's a little harder to measure an
intention, but the results are more meaningful.
Let's say you want to lose 20
pounds. How will you feel when you do that? What will your life be like if you
are 20 pounds lighter? Establishing an intention requires recognizing what will
satisfy you.
You want to lose weight so that
you will feel healthy, strong, fit, confident, attractive, and sexy. The number
on the scale isn't what matters most--it's how you feel each day.
Here's a weight loss goal: I
will lose 20 pounds in five months.
Here's an intention: I feel
strong, healthy, fit, confident, attractive and sexy.
The problem with typical goals
is that we tend to get bogged down by our "even though" statements.
We tell ourselves that we are going to lose 20 pounds EVEN THOUGH we failed
last time, EVEN THOUGH we question our ability to do so, EVEN THOUGH we don't
think we'll be able to maintain it. Our minds go directly to the negative
images and we sabotage our efforts before we even begin!
Here's a thought: Why not create
an intention that will get your brain to work for you instead of against you?
Intentions allow us to picture
ourselves--and how we'll feel--when we are successful. There's no room for
failure in the picture. We focus on the positive and powerful feelings we'll
have.
Intentions are always stated in
present tense, as though you are already where you want to be. Instead of
saying, "I will be strong, fit, healthy, etc.", you say, "I feel
strong, fit, healthy, etc." What seems like a small semantic difference is
a huge shift in our brains.
The latest brain studies suggest
that the most effective way to change our beliefs is to create a mental story
of success. We need to picture ourselves as we want to be, and we need to talk
about it. Here's the basic formula: See it, say it, hear it.
Our unconscious brain sees
everything in pictures. It does not filter images based on what our conscious
mind considers true, likely or possible. It literally does not distinguish
between reality and fantasy. Think of the nonsensical dreams you've had!
Language is most fully processed
in the brain when there is a visualized image to go along with it. These images
and words become linked to create our "truth"-- at least, according
to our brains. And that's where it matters most.
Say it out loud, and you're
engaging your aural learning skills as well.
By intentionally creating new
images through visualization, we literally create our own version of reality,
and as you've probably learned by now, we tend to live in whatever reality we
construct. Our potential is limited only by the mental images we choose to
develop and store. It's that simple--and that profound.
Stop setting goals, and start
creating intentions. The secret is to include ALL of these steps:
What's your intention? Focus on
feelings, not numbers. Picture it, and write it down. Repeat it to yourself
until it becomes familiar and beloved--complete with favorite parts, great
pictures, and a happy ending.
Stop pushing toward goals and
start being pulled by your intentions. Let your brain go to work for you.
See it, say it, hear it. You'll
never need another goal!
About The Author
Maya Talisman Frost is a mind
masseuse. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 80 countries. She serves up
a satisfying blend of clarity, comfort and comic relief in her free weekly
ezine, the Friday Mind Massage. To subscribe, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com.
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