Redneck Medical Terms 

Artery...................... The study of paintings

Benign......................What you be after you be eight

Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria

Barium......................What doctors do when patients die

Cesarean Section............A neighborhood in Rome

Catscan.....................Searching for Kitty

Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her

Colic....................... A sheep dog 

Coma........................A punctuation mark 

D&C.........................Where Washington is 

Dilate......................To live long 

Enema.......................Not a friend 

Fester......................Quicker than someone else 

Fibula......................A small lie 

Genital.....................Non-Jewish person 

G.I.Series..................World Series of military baseball 

Hangnail....................What you hang your coat on

Impotent....................Distinguished, well known 

Labor Pain..................Getting hurt at work. 

Medical Staff...............A Doctor's cane

Morbid......................A higher offer than I bid 

Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates 

Node........................I knew it 

Outpatient..................A person who has fainted 

Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test 

Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis 

Post Operative..............A letter carrier 

Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery 

Rectum......................Darn near killed him 

Secretion...................Hiding something 

Seizure....................Roman emperor 

Tablet......................A small table 

Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport

Tumor.......................More than one 

Urine.......................Opposite of you're out 

Varicose....................Near by

Author/Originator Unknown

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