Humorous Auto
Insurance Claims
The following apparently are actual
statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident
details in as few words as possible.
Coming home I drove
into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car
collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.
I collided with a
stationary truck coming the other way.
In my attempt to
kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping
for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang
up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
I had been driving
for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to
the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to
have an accident.
My car was legally
parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
As I approached the
intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever
appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.
I told the police I
was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured
skull.
I was sure the old
fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
I saw a
slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
The indirect cause
of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was thrown from
my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
A pedestrian hit me
and went under my car.
I thought my window
was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
To avoid hitting
the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
The guy was all
over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
The pedestrian had
no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
An invisible car
came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
A truck backed
through my windshield into my wife's face.
I pulled away from
the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the
embankment.
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