If You're Stuck
Then Make a Different Decision
by: Della Menechella
Many people don’t really
understand the gift they have been given in their ability to be decisive.
According to the dictionary, decisiveness means ‘having the power or quality of
settling a dispute, question, doubt, contest, event, etc.’ How individuals use
this power of decisiveness will strongly influence the quality of life that
Not long ago, I really began to
understand how my decisions affect my life. My husband and I were going through
a difficult time when he lost his job due to his company merging with another
organization. I could have been optimistic about the situation, looking at it
as a chance for him to get a better job. However, instead of looking at it in this
manner, I experienced the situation as me being a helpless victim of life who
was suffering some cruel injustice that I did not deserve. I complained about
my circumstances to anyone who would listen. “Why was my life getting harder?”
“Why were problems that I thought I had successfully overcome once again
resurfacing?” I believed that life was totally unfair. I was having a great big
pity party and I wasn’t even having any fun. (Even peak performance experts
sometimes forget the things they teach others and find themselves in the depths
of despair.) Finally, as I sat in an advanced success class, the instructor
must have gotten tired of hearing me complain and she bluntly told me that my
life could be easier if I decided that it would be. I felt like I had been
struck between the eyes with 2 by 4. I was more than slightly insulted by that
comment and my first reaction was to get my things together at break time and
However, the following morning a
funny thing happened. As I thought about my teacher’s comments, I decided that
she was absolutely right. I decided to believe that my life would be easy and
flowing with harmony, peace, joy and abundance. My pity party was over and I
finally began to experience joy again. Actually, I began to get downright
excited about all of the wonderful prospects in my life.
Why did I have such a tough time
initially? It was because I believed that I had to react negatively to what was
going on in my life, not realizing that by doing so, I was really deciding the course
of my future. I thought that I should be disappointed, frustrated and scared
because things were not going the way I thought they should. However, I now
understand that my unconscious decision to respond to the situation negatively
guaranteed that I would experience more of the same. I did not understand that
I could make a firm decision to perceive the events in my life in a different
MAKE A DIFFERENT DECISION
Many of us think we have no
choice as to how to respond to life. But we absolutely do. Every response that
we have is, in reality, a decision and the Law of Cause and Effect will make
sure that we experience more of that decision in the future. The Law of Cause
and Effect states that whatever we focus on (good or bad), we will attract into
our lives. Don’t be fooled by its seeming simplicity. This is an extremely
powerful law that has a major impact on our lives.
I have decided to interpret
everything that happens in my life as something positive and as evidence that
greater good is coming into my life. Some people may think I am crazy and not
being realistic. I don’t care. When I interpret things the way any ‘normal’
person would (which means negatively), it prevents me from moving forward, it
causes me to doubt myself, and I feel pessimistic about my future. I’ve had
enough experience to know that when my thoughts are focused on the problems in
my life, my mind is directing the Law of Cause and Effect to bring more of the
same types of negative experiences into my life. Well, I am having none of that
anymore, thank you very much. When I interpret things in a positive way, it
makes me feel good and then my mind is focused on good and the Law of Cause and
Effect will bring more good into my life . It sounds like a better plan to me.
Besides, most of the time when we interpret a situation in a negative way, we
are usually not being realistic, we blow things out of proportion, and we make
them worse than they really are. If I am not going to be realistic about a
situation anyway, I might as well do it so it empowers me. And that is exactly
what I have decided to do.
WHAT DECISIONS ARE YOU MAKING?
The problem with decisiveness is
that most of us do not really understand the extent to which we can make
decisions in our lives. We may think we can make decisions about some things
but not others. But that is not true. We can absolutely decide how we are going
to experience life – whether it will be a struggle or a joy. Sometimes we are
so enmeshed in our unconscious negative choices that it takes enormous
self-discipline to tell ourselves, “No. I have decided to experience this
situation differently. I am not going to allow my thoughts to go back to places
that I don’t want.” The Law of Cause and Effect will always cooperate with our
choice and bring us whatever we decide.
Most of us are very strong in
the decisions we make in some areas of our lives, but we don’t assert our power
in our thoughts. Think about a food that you really hate, something that you
would not eat under any circumstances. If I put it in front of you and asked
you to eat it, you would probably say, “No way. I am not eating that. Never in
a million years.” No problem making a firm decision in that situation. Well,
why not assert that same firmness when it comes to negative thinking? When a
negative thought comes to you, pretend it is that despised food being offered
to you and say “No way. I am not allowing any of that into my mind.” The law
will respond to your decision and that thought will not find its way in.
THE PRACTICAL SIDE OF
Being decisive in how you will
experience life is really very practical. A number of years ago, I was teaching
a course in an urban area in New Jersey in a section that is infested with drug
pushers, addicts, and others who are operating at the lowest levels of life.
One night as I was getting ready to park my car, I heard a big commotion. When
I turned to see what was happening, I saw a woman holding a knife with a
ten-inch blade. She was menacingly close to some guy and she was yelling about
how she was going to stab him with it. To say that I experienced a little fear
is an understatement. My first thought was to stay in the car because if she
noticed me, I might become sliced meat. Then I decided that I was not about to
let my thoughts go in that direction. I also decided to know that everywhere I
go peace, harmony, and security surround me. Immediately afterward, someone
took the knife away from the woman and all was calm. The following night when I
arrived to teach another class, the neighborhood was calm, peaceful and serene.
As I walked into the place where the classes were held, one of the students
told me that there had just been a big fight between some guys right in front
of the building. It ended just before I arrived. I decided to experience peace
and harmony wherever I go and the Law of Cause and Effect responded.
The Bible says, “You shall
decide upon a thing and it shall be done unto you.” We decide and the Law of
Cause and Effect responds. Look at those areas of your life that are not
working and make a different decision about them. You have an incredible power
to live the life of your choosing. Just remember that the quality of our lives
is truly whatever we decide.
About The Author
Della Menechella is a speaker,
author, and trainer who inspires people to achieve greater success from the
inside out. She is a contributing author to Thriving in the Midst of Change
and the author of the videotape The Twelve Commandments of Goal Setting. She
can be reached at email@example.com.
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