We are a silly society.  In case you need more proof, here are some warnings and instructions that have apparently been spotted on various products.  



On a hair dryer:

Do not use while sleeping.


Can of self-defense pepper spray warns:
May irritate eyes.


On a Domino's Pizza box
Caution:  Contents Hot!


On a lawnmower:
Warning:  When motor is running – blade is turning.


On a tube of deodorant:

Do not use intimately.


On a can of powdered infant formula:

Mix with water before serving.


Instructions for an electric thermometer:
Do not use orally after using rectally.


Household iron warns:
Never iron clothes while they are being worn.


On a bag of Doritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.


On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.


On a cardboard windshield sun shade:
"Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place."


On a bottle of drain cleaner:

If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.


On a box of rat poison
Warning:  Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.


Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it.  Direction # 1:

Remove plastic.


On a container of salt:
Warning:  High is sodium.


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.


On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.


On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink:
After opening, keep upright


Warning on a cartridge for a laser printer:
Do not eat toner.


Cheap rubber ball toy warning:
Choking hazard.  This toy is a small ball.


On a box of birthday cake candles:

Do not use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.


Warning on a Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer:
Do not use in shower.  Never use while sleeping.


On a New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.


On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children


On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.


On a hotel provided shower cap:
Fits one head.


Stamped on the barrel of a .22 caliber rifle:
Warning:  Misuse may cause injury or death.


On a milk crate:

Theft of this container is a crime.


On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.


On an electric hand blender:

Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating.


On a wheelbarrow with a 13” wheel:

Not for highway use.


On a battery:

Do not recharge, put in backwards or use.


Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at 7-11:

Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.


On a can of Woolite carpet cleaner:

Safe for carpets too!


Warning on a sharpening stone:
Knives are sharp.


On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.


On a chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands


On a revolving door:
Passenger compartments for individual use only.


On an orange juice can:

100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.


On a bag of fresh grapes:

Please store in the cold section of refrigerator.


On the label of Sterno:

Do not use near fire or flame.


On a Taiwanese shampoo:
Use repeatedly for severe damage


On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.


On an electric carpenters drill:

This product not intended for use as a dental drill.


On a container of lighter fluid:

Warning:  Contents flammable.


On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric):

Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets!


A snow blower warns:

Do not use on roof.


On a golf cart:

Not for highway use.


On a laser pointer:

Do not look into laser with remaining eye.


On a TV remote control:

Not dishwasher safe.


Baby stroller warning:
Remove child before folding.


On a massage chair:

Do not use massage chair without clothing... and - Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.


On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.


A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads can not protect any part of the body they do not cover.


Warning on underarm deodorant:
Do not spray in eyes.


An electric cattle prods warns:
For use on animals only.


On the bottom of a box of glass ornaments:

Do not turn upside down.


On a coffee cup:

Caution: Hot beverages are hot!


On a dishwasher:

Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.


Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos:

Dip chips in cheese and salsa.


On a curling iron:

Do not insert into any bodily orifice.


A fireplace lighter cautions:
Do not use near fire, flame or sparks.


On a Magic 8 Ball:
Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.


On a helmet mounted mirror used by cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you


On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.


On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack:
Remove plastic before eating.


On a Band-Aid box:

For serious injuries, seek medical attention.


On the box for a car jack:

For lifting purposes only.


On a 12-inch rack for storing compact disks:

Do not use as a ladder.


A handheld massager warns consumers:
Don’t use while sleeping or unconscious.


On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.


On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.


On a fishing lure with a three-pronged hook:

Harmful if swallowed.


On children's alphabet blocks:
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.



On a toilet brush:

Do not use for personal hygiene.





Are all these “real” warnings?  Beats me.  But from the way other things are happening in our weird world, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit…




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