We are a silly society. In case you need more proof, here are some warnings and instructions that have apparently been spotted on various products.
On a hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
self-defense pepper spray warns:
May irritate eyes.
Domino's Pizza box
Caution: Contents Hot!
On a lawnmower:
Warning: When motor is running – blade is turning.
On a tube of deodorant:
Do not use intimately.
On a can of powdered infant formula:
Mix with water before serving.
for an electric thermometer:
Do not use orally after using rectally.
Never iron clothes while they are being worn.
On a bag of Doritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
On a cardboard windshield sun shade:
"Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place."
On a bottle of drain cleaner:
If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.
box of rat poison
Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction # 1:
On a container of
Warning: High is sodium.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink:
After opening, keep upright
on a cartridge for a laser printer:
Do not eat toner.
rubber ball toy warning:
Choking hazard. This toy is a small ball.
On a box of birthday cake candles:
Do not use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.
on a Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer:
Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping.
On a New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
hotel provided shower cap:
Fits one head.
on the barrel of a .22 caliber rifle:
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
On a milk crate:
Theft of this container is a crime.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On an electric hand blender:
Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating.
On a wheelbarrow with a 13” wheel:
Not for highway use.
On a battery:
Do not recharge, put in backwards or use.
Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at 7-11:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
On a can of Woolite carpet cleaner:
Safe for carpets too!
on a sharpening stone:
Knives are sharp.
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
On a revolving door:
Passenger compartments for individual use only.
On an orange juice can:
100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.
On a bag of fresh grapes:
Please store in the cold section of refrigerator.
On the label of Sterno:
Do not use near fire or flame.
On a Taiwanese shampoo:
Use repeatedly for severe damage
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On an electric carpenters drill:
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
On a container of lighter fluid:
Warning: Contents flammable.
On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric):
Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets!
A snow blower warns:
Do not use on roof.
On a golf cart:
Not for highway use.
On a laser pointer:
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
On a TV remote control:
Not dishwasher safe.
Remove child before folding.
On a massage chair:
Do not use massage chair without clothing... and - Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads can not protect any part of the body they do not cover.
on underarm deodorant:
Do not spray in eyes.
electric cattle prods warns:
For use on animals only.
On the bottom of a box of glass ornaments:
Do not turn upside down.
On a coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot!
On a dishwasher:
Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.
Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos:
Dip chips in cheese and salsa.
On a curling iron:
Do not insert into any bodily orifice.
fireplace lighter cautions:
Do not use near fire, flame or sparks.
On a Magic 8 Ball:
Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up
Remove plastic before eating.
On a Band-Aid box:
For serious injuries, seek medical attention.
On the box for a car jack:
For lifting purposes only.
On a 12-inch rack for storing compact disks:
Do not use as a ladder.
handheld massager warns consumers:
Don’t use while sleeping or unconscious.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On a fishing lure with a three-pronged hook:
Harmful if swallowed.
On children's alphabet blocks:
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.
On a toilet brush:
Do not use for personal hygiene.
Are all these “real” warnings? Beats me. But from the way other things are happening in our weird world, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit…
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