Limericks… Limericks… Limericks…
A quick look at one of our finer verse forms. (OK, so I’m warped. Cut me some slack…)
There was a young lady from
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
After the ride
She was inside,
And the smile was on the face of the tiger.
There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.
There was a young maid from
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think---
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
There was a young lady named Slater
Who married an old alligator.
The night that they wed
They climbed into bed,
But rather than mate her, he ate her.
A corpulent maiden named Kroll
Had a notion exceedingly droll
At a masquerade ball
Dressed in nothing at all
She backed in as a Parker House roll.
There was a young man from Lenore,
Whose mouth was as wide as a door.
While attempting to grin,
He slipped and fell in,
And laid inside out on the floor.
A gentle old lady I knew
Was dozing one day in her pew;
When the preacher yelled "Sin!"
She said, "Count me in!
As soon as the service is through!"
A macho young swimmer named Dwyer,
Really liked playing with fire.
One night in the dark
He swam with a shark,
And his voice is now two octaves higher.
There was a young lady named Kite
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She left home one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
A young schizophrenic named Struther,
Who learned of the death of his Brother,
Said, "I know that it’s bad,
But I don't feel too sad.
After all, I still have each other."
There was an old gent from Hyde
Who ate rotten apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside his inside.
There once was a slimmer named Steen
Who grew so phenomenally lean
And flat, and compressed,
That his back touched his chest,
So that sideways he couldn't be seen.
An elderly man called Keith
Mislaid his set of false teeth -
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
If you have a craving for more (and with the concurrence of your therapist), you can easily reach the saturation point at these sites:
**PRUDE ALERT… this verse form is well-known for its raunchy side. Watch where you’re clickin’ on site 2…
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