Christmas Carols for People with Interesting Views on Life



Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear?



Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are



Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas



Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me



Manic -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and......



Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me



Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire



Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why



Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...




And for those of you who feel that I’m a totally insensitive cad for even daring to make a joke about potentially serious, life-limiting illnesses (and yes, these are illnesses folks…), here’s my follow-up:



The Psychiatric Hotline


If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.



If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.



If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.



If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.  Just stay on the line and we will trace the call.



If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.



If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press.  No one will answer anyway.




Silliness aside, if you suspect that you or someone you know may have an emotional disorder – prolonged depression included - that is interfering with the ability to function “normally” and enjoy a reasonably productive life, seek professional help NOW!  With the proper medication and counseling, many of these illnesses can be treated successfully.




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