20 Ways to Overcome Boredom
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In'.
5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write ' For Smuggling Diamonds'.
7. Finish all your sentences with 'In Accordance With the Prophecy'.
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To Go'.
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital. Ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When walking through the park, ask strangers ‘Where are the Caramel Trees?’
19. Stand on a street corner, look up at the sky and say repeatedly, “It won’t be long now…”
20. Tell your children over dinner, 'due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'
THE DUMBEST KID IN THE WORLD
A young boy enters the barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I
take the dollar, the
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