The Reason
Nothing Happens ... Is Because Nothing Is Happening!
by: Edward B. Toupin
I hear many clients declare how
boring and stagnant their lives have become. As they disclose their concerns,
the answer usually bubbles near the surface, but never quite makes it to the
top. However, after a few minutes, I usually ask, "What are you doing to
re-energize your life?" The most common answer is, "I dunno what to
do!" Ah, the answer to the problem in itself!
Life becomes stagnant for
varying reasons; however, the most causes include 1) forgetting how to
re-motivate oneself and 2) waiting for the next "thing." In both
cases, it's a matter of fast-idling in a comfort zone in hopes that something
better will come along. However, while you wait and hope for the best,
opportunities are passing by because you are not open to having them in your
life.
--- Re-Motivation ---
Motivation is tough. It requires
an objective, a plan, and a reason. If any of these items are missing, then the
reason for the pursuit of a dream disappears. We sometimes become so stuck on a
way of life, or a direction, that when we encounter a loss of any type, the
resulting change causes us to stall. Life, as we once knew it, is over. This,
because we've been so focused on a given path that any sudden changes knocks us
off balance. But, the end of one way of life is indeed the beginning of a new
life altogether!
In such cases, we have forgotten
how to motivate ourselves and decide that it's easier to idle with imitation
projects in a comfort zone to fill our voids as opposed to breaking out and
chasing a dream. We work hard to stay where we are by devising busy-work to
occupy our minds that then become excuses for us to remain stationary. However,
re-motivation is a necessary part of life management as it allows us to adapt
to changes (i.e., success, loss, and trauma at the end of a cycle or period of
extremes) that can affect our lives.
--- Just Waiting Around ---
"Waiting around" is a
situation that we all encounter from time-to-time. We just "wait",
for any number of reasons, including fear and "holding out for something
better." In the interim, our minds run amok and we stall at the top of a
downward spiral.
We sometimes become so
accustomed to allowing our environment to "rain down" on us that
every time we try to move forward, we stop and wait for the "other shoe to
drop." This is not an uncommon feeling as many people remain so set in
their situations that they fear what might occur if they move on with their
lives.
In other cases, we occasionally
enter into a situation that "looks good", but we feel that something
better is just around the corner. With that, we put our current plans on hold
to see what happens next. However, over time, we've accumulated so many
unfinished projects that we don't know where to begin. Is it fear of
commitment? Perhaps, fear of success? Or, perhaps once we finally make it
through to the end of these plans, we don't know what will happen next? Many
times, it's not so much that we're waiting for something better, but we're
afraid of not having something to dream of or aim for once our current plans
conclude.
--- What's next? ---
In all cases, life stagnates
because we allow it to do so. During change, you must find something to replace
the loss imposed by trauma or success so that you can continue life's journey,
albeit, on a new path. However, the only way to re-motivate yourself and stop
waiting is to have a Vision or a "dream of meaning". Defining a
Vision can make all the difference between stagnation and a fulfilling life.
Instead of waiting or worrying
that there will be nothing at the "end of the rainbow", start making
plans for your next dream so that you can achieve the life you desire. Don't
just hang around in hopes that something better will come along, go out and
find that something better, and take it!
About The Author
Edward B. Toupin is an author,
life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD
Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles,
and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life
organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and
electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing
topics! For more information, e-mail Edward at etoupin@toupin.com or visit
his site at http://www.make-life-great.com
or http://www.toupin.com!
Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B.
Toupin
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