The Zen of Happiness
By Bret Burquest
The director of the Life Enhancement Program at Canyon Ranch in
His definition of happiness is the combined totality of 12 important
qualities.
1) Love
2) Optimism
3) Courage
4) A sense of freedom
5) Pro-activity (making your own happiness rather than waiting for it to
happen to you)
6) Security
7) Health
8) Spirituality
9) Altruism
10) Perspective
11) Humor
12) Purpose.
This all makes sense but I would first define happiness by the mistakes
people make trying to be happy.
One mistake most people make is assuming money can buy happiness. Not
true. First of all, it usually takes a lot of work (long hours and sacrifice)
in order to accumulate lots of money -- that's no fun. And if you're born rich,
you're probably bored because you don't appreciate the effort it took to become
wealthy. Plus, those who strive for wealth never think they have enough. And if
you never have enough, you can never be happy.
Money can't buy love – it attracts people who are attracted to money.
Money can't buy a life of leisure – you're too busy making and
protecting it.
Money can't buy status – there will always be others with more status.
Money can't buy peace of mind – the more money you have, the more
obligations you have.
Money can't buy security – the more money you have, the bigger target
you become for thieves, swindlers and hangers-on.
Pleasure seeking is another false avenue for those who seek happiness.
This includes travel, socializing, recreation (skiing, scuba, running, cycling,
ski diving, racing, golf, bowling, fishing, hunting, gambling, etc.) and other
distractions from ordinary everyday life. If you travel elsewhere or do
something "exciting" in an attempt to find happiness, you're looking
in all the wrong places. Happiness is not elsewhere, it's a state of mind.
Another way people seek happiness is by escaping reality, the perceived
cause of unhappiness. This usually involves immersing themselves in some
activity to take their minds off their troubles. Overindulgence in any form of
activity (television, music, reading, playing games, sex, exercise, hobbies,
shopping, housework, etc.) is a subconscious attempt to escape reality. There's
nothing wrong with these activities unless done in excess.
Even eating can become a distraction from reality because food is often
a substitute for love. People who feel empty inside subconsciously attempt to
overcome their emotional emptiness by overindulging in food. When you
overindulge in excessive behavior to escape reality it soon becomes an addiction
that's hard to break.
Another way to escape reality is through mind-altering legal drugs
(caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, tranquilizers, anti-depressants, etc.) or illegal
drugs (uppers, downers, psychedelics, etc.). But altering your state of mind is
only a temporary cure of your woes (reality) rather than addressing the root
problem (inability to cope with life).
Reality can be overwhelming at times, but you can't escape it forever.
Sooner or later, you've got to face it.
All the distractions (money, pleasure seeking, drugs, etc.) you go
through to be happy are only fleeting moments of self-indulgent highs, simply
to escape reality. If you're forced to escape reality to be happy, you're
living an unfulfilled life (happy on the outside, miserable inside). If you
have to seek happiness, you don't have it.
Basically, happiness is being content regardless of the circumstances.
It requires an understanding that suffering is part of life. Without the
negative, you can't appreciate the positive.
The world is a harsh place and life often doesn't seem fair. You must
embrace the suffering and overcome it. Only then can you truly be happy.
Happiness may be surrounded by traps, but it isn't hard work at all.
To be find happiness in everything, seek happiness in nothing.
To possess all things, seek to possess nothing.
To be everything, seek to be nothing.
You don't have to go places or do things or escape reality to seek
happiness; it was there within you all the time.
* * *
Bret Burquest is an
award-winning columns and author of four novels. Contact bret@centurytel.net
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