Who
is Jack Schitt?
For
some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,
'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks
to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O.
Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.
In
turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six
children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins
Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against
her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school
dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and
because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile,
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous
disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt
and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married
the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the
newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children
were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull
Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned
from
Now
when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock
O. Schitt
Our sincere thanks to Crock for clearing that up…
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