WARNING LABELS

 

 

 

We are a silly society.  In case you need more proof, here are some warnings and instructions that have apparently been spotted on various products.  

 

 

On a hair dryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

 

Can of self-defense pepper spray warns:
May irritate eyes.

 

On a Domino's Pizza box
Caution:  Contents Hot!

 

On a lawnmower:
Warning:  When motor is running – blade is turning.

 

On a tube of deodorant:

Do not use intimately.

 

On a can of powdered infant formula:

Mix with water before serving.

 

Instructions for an electric thermometer:
Do not use orally after using rectally.

 

Household iron warns:
Never iron clothes while they are being worn.

 

On a bag of Doritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

 

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

 

On a cardboard windshield sun shade:
"Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place."

 

On a bottle of drain cleaner:

If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.

 

On a box of rat poison
Warning:  Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.

 

Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it.  Direction # 1:

Remove plastic.

 

On a container of salt:
Warning:  High is sodium.

 

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.

 

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

 

On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink:
After opening, keep upright

 

Warning on a cartridge for a laser printer:
Do not eat toner.

 

Cheap rubber ball toy warning:
Choking hazard.  This toy is a small ball.

 

On a box of birthday cake candles:

Do not use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.

 

Warning on a Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer:
Do not use in shower.  Never use while sleeping.

 

On a New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.

 

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children

 

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

 

On a hotel provided shower cap:
Fits one head.

 

Stamped on the barrel of a .22 caliber rifle:
Warning:  Misuse may cause injury or death.

 

On a milk crate:

Theft of this container is a crime.

 

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

 

On an electric hand blender:

Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating.

 

On a wheelbarrow with a 13” wheel:

Not for highway use.

 

On a battery:

Do not recharge, put in backwards or use.

 

Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at 7-11:

Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

 

On a can of Woolite carpet cleaner:

Safe for carpets too!

 

Warning on a sharpening stone:
Knives are sharp.

 

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

 

On a chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands

 

On a revolving door:
Passenger compartments for individual use only.

 

On an orange juice can:

100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.

 

On a bag of fresh grapes:

Please store in the cold section of refrigerator.

 

On the label of Sterno:

Do not use near fire or flame.

 

On a Taiwanese shampoo:
Use repeatedly for severe damage

 

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

 

On an electric carpenters drill:

This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

 

On a container of lighter fluid:

Warning:  Contents flammable.

 

On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric):

Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets!

 

A snow blower warns:

Do not use on roof.

 

On a golf cart:

Not for highway use.

 

On a laser pointer:

Do not look into laser with remaining eye.

 

On a TV remote control:

Not dishwasher safe.

 

Baby stroller warning:
Remove child before folding.

 

On a massage chair:

Do not use massage chair without clothing... and - Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.

 

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

 

A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads can not protect any part of the body they do not cover.

 

Warning on underarm deodorant:
Do not spray in eyes.

 

An electric cattle prods warns:
For use on animals only.

 

On the bottom of a box of glass ornaments:

Do not turn upside down.

 

On a coffee cup:

Caution: Hot beverages are hot!

 

On a dishwasher:

Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.

 

Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos:

Dip chips in cheese and salsa.

 

On a curling iron:

Do not insert into any bodily orifice.

 

A fireplace lighter cautions:
Do not use near fire, flame or sparks.

 

On a Magic 8 Ball:
Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.

 

On a helmet mounted mirror used by cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you

 

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

 

On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack:
Remove plastic before eating.

 

On a Band-Aid box:

For serious injuries, seek medical attention.

 

On the box for a car jack:

For lifting purposes only.

 

On a 12-inch rack for storing compact disks:

Do not use as a ladder.

 

A handheld massager warns consumers:
Don’t use while sleeping or unconscious.

 

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

 

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

 

On a fishing lure with a three-pronged hook:

Harmful if swallowed.

 

On children's alphabet blocks:
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

 

AND THE TOP PRIZE IN M-LAW’S EIGHTH ANNUAL WACKY WARNING LABEL CONTEST

On a toilet brush:

Do not use for personal hygiene.

http://www.mlaw.org/wwl/index.html

 

 

 

Are all these “real” warnings?  Beats me.  But from the way other things are happening in our weird world, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit…

 

 

 

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