Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
In a jeweler’s shop: “Ears pierced while you wait.”
A secondhand shop boasts: “We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?”
At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
Outside a radiator repair shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
At an exclusive boutique: “No children aloud.”
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
Outside an electrical shop: “Why smash your plates washing up? Let one of our dishwashers do it for you.”
At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
On a newly painted bench: “Wet paint. Watch it or wear it.”
On a music teacher's door: "Out Chopin."
At a pet shop claims: “Birds going cheep!”
the wall of a
In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan."
the window of a
In the window of an
On maternity room door: "Push, Push, Push."
On the side of a garbage truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
Outside a furniture shop: “We promise you the lowest prices and workmanship.”
In the window of a photographer's studio: “Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.”
In front of a car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."
At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
On a pet shop door: “No dogs allowed.”
Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
In the vestry of a
At an auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"
On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."
On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."
In a butcher's shop: “These scales are accurate - no two weighs about it.”
In a fabric shop window: “Repairs and alterations done here. Dying arranged.”
In a dress shop window: “Don't stand outside and faint - come in and have a fit.”
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
In a health food shop window: “Closed due to illness.”
On a repair shop door: “We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.)”
At a travel agency: “Why don't you go away?”
In a laundromat: “Automatic washing machines - please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.”
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