Newspaper Ad Blunders
For those of you who haven’t yet run into these (or those of you who have – and don’t remember squat about it), here are some ads supposedly right out of the paper…
For
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that
lots of women wear nothing else.
For
Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered.
Like one of the family.
Used
Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
See
ladies blouses. 50% off!
Semi-Annual after-Christmas
Have
several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in
sandwich shop.
Tired
of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Toaster:
A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore
play.
Dinner Special --
Dog
for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Stock
up and save. Limit: one.
Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in
appetizing forms.
Man,
honest. Will take anything.
Our
experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks
included.
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Get
rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and
produce at night.
No
matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really
repellent.
We
do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
Offer
expires December 31 or while supplies last
Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
Kellogg's Pot Tarts
- $1.99 Box
Fully
cooked boneless smoked man - $2.09 lb.
Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton,
Granite 5-6204.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery.
Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
For
sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
7
ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness
and smothered with golden fried onion rings.
Wanted.
Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping
duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
3-year-old
teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be
willing to get hands dirty.
We
will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
83
Man
wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to
travel.
For
sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking
horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
Mixing
bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
Now
is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home,
too.
And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched
in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
Amana
Washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
For
Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in
factory.
If
you think you've seen everything in
Wanted.
Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
American Flag - 60
Stars - Pole Included $100
The
hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic
facilities.
NuPathz.com
– Your affordable source for self improvement and self help books &
materials
Illuminating
the path for personal motivation, growth and development
SUCCESS
= TAKING THE STEPS TO DO THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO!