Newspaper Ad Blunders



For those of you who haven’t yet run into these (or those of you who have – and don’t remember squat about it), here are some ads supposedly right out of the paper…



For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.


Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.


For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.


Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.


Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!


See ladies blouses. 50% off!


Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.


Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.


Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.


Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.


Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.


Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.


Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.


Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.


Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.


Stock up and save. Limit: one.


Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.


Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.


A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.


Man, honest. Will take anything.


Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.


Illiterate? Write today for free help.


Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.


Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.


No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.


We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.


Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last


Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.


Kellogg's Pot Tarts - $1.99 Box


Fully cooked boneless smoked man - $2.09 lb.


Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.


Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.


For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.


7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings.


Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.


3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.


Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.


We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.


83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2000


Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.


For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.


Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.


Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.


And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.


Amana Washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.


For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.


Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.


If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.


Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.


American Flag - 60 Stars - Pole Included $100


The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.




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