New Year’s
Resolutions You Can Keep
Are you tired of
making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not
promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions
that you can use as a starting point:
1. Gain weight.
2. Exercise less.
3. Read less.
4. Watch more TV.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Not date any super models or sports celebrities.
7. Spend more time at work surfing the Web.
8. Check out the motor oil display at WalMart.
9. Not vacation in
10. Not pack a smoked possum sandwich in your lunch.
11. Not have eight children at once.
12. Fall asleep periodically in the recliner or on the couch.
13. Start being superstitious by refusing to say the word “flatus”.
14. Eat fast food at least once.
15. Not wrestle with Hulk Hogan.
16. Purchase something with a credit card.
17. Drink an alcoholic beverage.
18. Not purchase a python for a pet.
19. Eat a gigantic hamburger… with fries.
20. Watch a reality show on TV.
21. Say a curse word out loud.
22. Not eat cloned meat.
23. Develop one more bad habit.
24. Get another toy.
25. Forward a dumb e-mail joke.
26. Not believe politicians.
27. Break at least one traffic law.
28. Not drive a motorized vehicle onto a frozen lake.
29. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
30. Avoid riding in airplanes piloted by anyone named Bubba.
31. Stay off the space station.
32. Enter a contest to try to win lots of money.
33. Belch in a public place.
34. Not swim with piranhas or sharks.
35. Talk to an animal.
36. Lose something.
37. Smile at a good-looking babe or hunk in public place.
38. Think of something related to sex (refer to number 37 if necessary…)
39. Count your toes
40. Never make New Year's resolutions again.
Based on an
Internet published work by an unknown author
I hope this has
been helpful to you…
NuPathz Home Back to Odds ‘N Ends
NuPathz.com
– Your affordable source for self improvement and self help books &
materials
Illuminating
the path for personal motivation, growth and development
SUCCESS
= TAKING THE STEPS TO DO THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO!