New Words for
the New Year
Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed
or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot
of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm,
and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs: (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
Mortgage.) What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
stops working to stay home with the kids.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the
magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find
yourself unable to stop watching them. The O. J. trials were a prime
example.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic
device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank
and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere
are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested
document could not be located.
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are
exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've
just made a BIG mistake.
WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a
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