Jest for the Pun of It…

 

 


1.   A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
  
2.   What's the definition of a Will? (It's a dead giveaway).
  
3.   Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like bananas.
  
4.   A backward poet writes inverse.
  
5.   In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
  
7.   A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  
8.   If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

9.   Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
  
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  
11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  
12. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in
France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  
13. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it
  
14. Local Area Network in
Australia: the LAN down under.

15. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
  
16. Every calendar's days are numbered.
  
17. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
  
18. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
  
24. Those who jump off a
Paris bridge are in Seine.

25. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
  
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
  
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
  
28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

29.
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

 

Author/Originator Unknown

 

 

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