International Order of the Belly Button

 

 

 

In an effort to promote intercultural understanding, intellectual enlightenment, an appreciation for social diversity and… uh…. oh yeah, world peace, we hereby announce the establishment of:

 

 

THE INTERNATIONAL ORDER OF THE BELLY BUTTON

 

Mission:  The International Order of the Belly Button will half-heartedly strive for zero impact on society and the welfare of our planet. To accomplish this, the IOBB as an organization will do nothing about anything.

 

Motto:  “Whatever…”

 

Logo:  [O]

 

Organizational Symbol: Navel orange

 

 

 

Requirements for Membership:  All individuals considering membership in the IOBB must either possess a belly button, have viewed at least one belly button in their lifetime or know someone who does have a belly button.

 

 

Becoming a Member:  Any individual may join the ranks of the IOBB by performing the following sacred ritual.

 

            Step 1.  Insert a personal appendage of your choice into any available

                                    belly button.

 

            Step 2. Solemnly say “This is a belly button”

 

            Step 3.  Remove the appendage.

 

            You are now a full-fledged, lifetime member of the International Order of the Belly Button and as such are entitled to all the benefits provided its members.  This membership can not be revoked or modified in any way by the IOBB.

 

 

Organizational Benefits:  There are none.

 

Dues:  Zip, zero, nada…

 

Membership Card:  Not a chance

 

Meetings:  You gotta be kidding!

 

Newsletters:  Not in this lifetime

 

Any Communications Whatsoever:  Won’t be happening

 

Required uniforms or special attire:  No such thing

 

Required rituals:  Nope… although all members are encouraged to periodically check for lint.

 

 

Optional Activities: 

 

Navel contemplation – this may be done with or without a partner for any length of time desired.

 

Navel prodding, poking, tickling or any other creative use is limited only by the extent of the individual’s creativity.  No single navel activity is encouraged or forbidden by the IOBB.

 

 

 

Resigning from the IOBB:  At any time, any individual may cancel his or her membership in the IOBB by saying the words “Screw it – I quit!”  We hope it never comes to that.

 

 

Established this 6th day of April, 2009.

 

 

PS:  If you should decide to become a member, I really don’t want to hear about it…

 

 

(Seriously, do you think I should try to cut back on the caffeine?)

 

 

 

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