Government
Liquor Warning
I
understand there is a possibility that liquor manufacturers have accepted the
Government's suggestion that the following warning label be placed immediately
on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING
- THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL
Leave
you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties
Make
you think you are whispering when you are not.
Influence
you to dance like a retard.
Cause
you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
Cause you
to think you can sing.
Lead
you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
four in the morning.
Make
you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without
spitting.
Create
the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most
people.
Lead
you to think people are laughing WITH you.
Cause
pregnancy.
Lead
you to believe you are invisible.
Cause a
disturbance in the time-space continuum, leaving you unable to account for large
chunks of time.
Make you
think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass
kicked.
Cause
you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
Cause otherwise
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
Author/Originator
Unknown
(I
really don’t need to tell you to drink responsibly, do I? Nah, I didn’t think so…)
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