Some Famous Sex Quotes

 

 

 

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good.
Drew Carey

 

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
Lynn Lavner

 

Ann Landers said that you are addicted to sex if you have sex more than 3 times a day, and that you should seek professional help. I have news for Ann Landers: The only way I am going to get sex 3 times a day is if I seek professional help.
Jay Leno

 

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation - the other eight are unimportant.
Henry Miller

 

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Unknown

 

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
Garry Shandling

 

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.
Steve Martin

 

If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield

 

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex
Jack Handey

 

Sex is the Tabasco sauce which an adolescent national palate sprinkles on every course in the menu.
Mary Day Winn

 

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
George Burns

 

Writing is a lot like sex. At first you do it because you like it. Then you find yourself doing it for a few close friends and people you like. But if you're any good at all...you end up doing it for money.
Unknown

 

Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.
Jackie Onassis

 

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where of course, men are just grateful.
Robert De Niro

 

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
Rod Stewart

 

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen

 

The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life
Glenda Jackson

 

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Jack Nicholson

 

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, “I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.”
Jerry Seinfeld

 

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
Swami X

 

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
Roseanne

 

Sex is an emotion in motion.
Mae West

 

Using Viagra is like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

Harvey Korman

 

It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom.
Joan Rivers
 

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal

 

Older people exude bundles of sexuality. Older men and women tend not run around like cats and dogs in heat.
Jacqueline Bisset

 

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams

 

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, you probably won't either.
Unknown

 

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural wholesome things that money can buy.
Tom Clancy

 

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Rodney Dangerfield

 

Everyone probably thinks that I'm a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite, when the truth is I'd rather read a book.
Madonna

 

Sex is nature's way of saying “Hi!”
Unknown

 

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Elmo Phillips

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns

 

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Dustin Hoffman

 

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
Sharon Stone

 

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts
Jeff Foxworthy

 

My wife said she'd like to have sex in the back seat of the car... and she wanted me to drive.
Rodney Dangerfield

 

My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.
Steve Jobs

 

Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last.
Unknown

 

 

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