Excuses for
Missing School
These
are supposedly excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)
collected by schools from all over the country.
Well, maybe. At any rate, for the
six of you who haven’t seen these, here y’ar…
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please
execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a
tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in
the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very
close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in
his side.
10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]
12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots
leak.
13.
14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't
know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the
Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was
Sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend
with the Marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not
breed well.
20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse
23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,
headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,
her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either,
sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even
got hot last night.
24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is
gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
Originator Unknown
– found scattered over the Internet…
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