Comments
made by Teachers on Report Cards
These are supposedly actual comments made on
students' report cards by teachers in the New York City Public Schools. Even if they weren’t, I’ll bet there are
thousands of teachers who would have liked to have written a few of these at
one time or another…
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them.
6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to
hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a
week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created
this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
BONUS: These 16 Police comments were
reportedly taken off actual police car videos around the country:
16 "You know, stop lights don't come any
redder than the one you just went through."
15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while."
14 "If you take your hands off the car. I'll make
your birth certificate a worthless document."
13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing
you."
11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm
warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey
poop."
6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
4 "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is
a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your
bail."
1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're
right, we don't… Sign here.
Author/Originator
Unknown
NuPathz Home
Back to Some More Odds ‘N Ends
NuPathz.com
– Your affordable source for self improvement and self help books &
materials
Illuminating
the path for personal motivation, growth and development
SUCCESS
= TAKING THE STEPS TO DO THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO!