Children and
the Church
A little boy was
attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man
marry?"
"Sixteen,"
the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so
quickly.
"How do
you know that?"
"Easy,"
the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said:
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced
to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow
up."
"That's
okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on
Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than
to sit and listen."
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who
passed trash against us."
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God
tells me."
"Oh,
then why do you keep crossing things out?"
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and
on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy,
if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all
the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked
him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy
replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and
I want to stay with you guys!"
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures
of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which
showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to
represent.
The Flight to
Pointing at each
figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus.
But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you
say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies,
"I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a
trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!"
A stagehand below
would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop
from view.
The play was well
received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was
quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I
descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his
plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the
rope could make him descend.
One student in the
balcony jumped up and yelled:
"Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at
It worked."
A little girl was
sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time,
she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled
cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke
up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes,
sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time
ago."
"Oh," she
paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed,
honey," he said, "God made you just a little while
ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
"God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
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