A Trip to
Wal-Mart
You are in the middle of a home improvement project at your house. You are hot and sweaty and covered in dirt or paint. You
have your old work clothes on. You know the
outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and
an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great project, you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to
get something to complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your
teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and
flex.
Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the
checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the
register.
In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You
married the hot chick, so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb
your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it.
Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the
register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole
in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat.
Wash your hands.
Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check
yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young
thing running the register
is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on and wipe the dirt off your hands onto your
shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports
car.
Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The
cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you
still have it. Then you remember the hat
you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and
it says, "I Got Worms".
In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog doo-doo
from your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's.
You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.
The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't even
notice the dog crap on your shoes.
The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that you needed to go to Wal-Mart.
Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think
someone called out your name.
The old lady that greeted you at the front door went to school with you.
Have a nice trip!
Author Unknown
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