The
Gunfighter
Sitting in a
saloon one Saturday night, an up and coming gunfighter recognized an elderly
man standing at the bar who, in his day had the reputation of being the fastest
gun in the West.
The young cowboy took a place
next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great
ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.
The old man looked him up and
down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too
high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."
"Will that make me a better
gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"Sure will," replied
the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told,
stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
"That's terrific!" said
the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"
"Yep," said the old
man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll
give you a smoother draw."
"Will that make me a better
gunfighter?" asked the younger man.
"You bet it will," said
the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife,
cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off
the piano player.
"Wow!" exclaimed the
cowboy, "I'm learnin' somethin'
here. Got any more tips?"
The old man pointed to a large
can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease in the can over
there? Coat your gun with it."
The young man went over to the
can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
"No," said the
old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."
"Will that make me a better
gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"No," said the
old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna
shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much."
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