Redneck Logic
Two rednecks, Jim
and Dave, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking
beer. Jim turns to Dave and says, "You know, I'm tired of going
through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community
College and sign up for some classes." Dave thinks it's a good
idea, and the two leave.
The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions,
who signs him up for the four basic classes:
Math, English, History, and Logic.
"Logic?" Jim
says. "What's that?"
The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"
"Yeah."
"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think
that you would have a yard."
"That's true, I do have a yard."
"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think
logically that you would have a house."
"Yes, I do have a house."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a
family."
"Yes, I have a family."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic
tells me you must be a heterosexual."
"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing; you were able to find out all of
that because I have a weed eater."
Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet
Dave at the bar. He tells Dave about his classes, how he is signed up for Math,
English, History, and Logic.
"Logic?" Dave says, "What's that?"
Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?"
"No."
"Then you're gay."
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