Married Life
I was in my back yard yesterday trying to fly a kite. I
threw the kite up in the air, the wind caught it for a few seconds, then it came crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few
more times with no success.
All the while, my wife is watching me from the kitchen window, muttering to
herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opened the window and
yelled to me, "You need a piece of tail."
I turned with a confused look on my face and said to her, "Make up your
mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."
Whatever Happened…?
An elderly couple
was sitting together, watching their favorite Saturday night TV program.
During one of those commercial breaks, the husband asked his wife:
"Whatever happened to our sexual relations?"
After a long
thoughtful silence, the wife, during the next commercial break, replied:
"You know, I don't really know--I don't even think we got a Christmas card
from them this year."
Two guys are drinking in a bar.
One says, "Did you know that lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"
"Crap," says his friend, "and I just joined
The Elks!!"
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