The Escaped Panda

A panda bear escapes from the zoo and is forced to live on his own. It turns out that he really enjoys eating in nice restaurants, but of course being a panda with no job and no money he is unable to pay his bill. Being also an exceptionally intelligent panda he devises a scheme that lets him eat in any restaurant he wishes.

One day he decides to try a particularly nice restaurant but when he asks the maitre d' for a table he's told, "I've heard about you. You’re the panda that never pays for his meal. We won't seat you here." So, the panda leaves the restaurant and sits on a bench across the street from the restaurant and contemplates his empty tummy.

Some while later the panda sees the maitre d' leave the restaurant. The panda goes back and asks the assistant maitre d' for a table, and is seated by the assistant who has never heard about the panda's tricks. The panda has a wonderful meal.

Just as he finishes desert the panda is approached by the maitre d' who has returned to discover the assistant maitre d's mistake. When the maitre d' demands payment, the panda pulls a gun, shoots the maitre d' and starts to leave. The assistant maitre d' stops the panda and asks, "Where do you think you are going?"

"I'm leaving." "You can't leave!" "Sure I can." "No you can't!"

At which point the panda produces the encyclopedia volume "P", opens it and tells the assistant, "Read this."

The assistant maitre d' reads aloud: "Panda, an animal indigenous to China that EATS SHOOTS and LEAVES."

Author/Origin Unknown (and probably just as well…)

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