Gene’s Blog

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before May 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

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Another Note: You can now catch me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/geneatnupathz  (You may need to copy and paste this into your browser window to actually get there…)  OK, whatever…

For those of you who can’t relate to this completely – just wait, your time’s coming…

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked. She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?” “98,” she replied. “Two years older than me.” “So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented. She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?”

I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.

A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.” “Sir,” replied the doctor, “you’re 97.  Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?” “You’re damned right it is!” replied the old man. “That’s why I want it lowered!”

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before May 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

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Another Note: You can now catch me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/geneatnupathz  (You may need to copy and paste this into your browser window to actually get there…)  OK, whatever…

LIFE’S TOO SHORT…

….to take it very seriously.  And for the sake of those who are in the process of addressing a really crappy situation right now, let me add the words “all the time”.  OK?  Yes, there are times we all need to buckle down and do those things we need to do and perhaps face obstacles to our financial, physical or emotional well-being.  Crap happens and we just gotta take care of it.  If you’re in one of “those” situations right now, you might want to refer back to some of the many NuPathz  blogs and articles to refresh the old memory bank on why some of this stuff may be happening and some possible ways to work through it.

But Leapin’ Lizards, Sandy (and recognizing the source of those last three words definitely substantiates your esteemed status as a member of the OFC – “Old Fart’s Club”), some folks even in decent overall conditions seem to put entirely too much effort into displaying and even reinforcing the seriousness of life.  Sometimes these are folks who are just programmed to focus on all of the negatives that surround them – and of course, to them life appears to be an ever deepening cesspool of darkness and despair.  Eeeewwww – what a yucky way to go through life!

Then there are other folks who have been led to believe that just because they have a rather serious job (as in being responsible for the well-being of a company, governmental agency, other folks’ safety, security or health) that this also requires them to continually wear a serious face and speak serious words.  Nah, this doesn’t apply to all of these types of people of course.  I’ve known a few “higher-ups” who were a real hoot to be around.  Maybe the alcohol was a contributing factor in my developing this perception.  (Just kidding….sort of….)

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before May 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

*****

Another Note: You can now catch me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/geneatnupathz  (You may need to copy and paste this into your browser window to actually get there…)  OK, whatever…

And yeah, I honestly do understand that at any given time folks are doing as good as they feel they can do, however… there are times when their actions or words may give a strong indication that (at that particular time) they are:

1. A few clowns short of a circus.

2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

3. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

4. Dumber than a box of hair.

5. A few peas short of a casserole.

6. Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box.

7. The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.

8. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

9. One taco short of a combination plate.

10. A few feathers short of a whole duck.

11. The cheese slid off his cracker.

12. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

13. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.

14. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

15. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

16. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

17. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before April 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

*****

Another Note: You can now catch me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/geneatnupathz  (You may need to copy and paste this into your browser window to actually get there…)  OK, whatever…

In case you’ve just arrived on the scene and aren’t familiar with my basic thoughts on spirituality, here’s a quick summary.

In my opinion (or wild-assed guess – your choice):

1. God is likely not an individual entity but rather a total of all of the love, wisdom and power that exists in all creations.

2. Heaven may be just another existence or set of dimensions that coexists with ours.

3. Heaven’s inhabitants (angels, whatever…) are individual entities (sort of “spirit”-types) who are just a normal part of this existence.

4. We humans may be just another one of these spiritual entities who are spending a short time here on earth occupying an animal body.

So why have I come to these conclusions?  Because at this point in my life, these are the only semi-logical cinder blocks that I can slap together to create some type of a foundation for an understandable (for me anyway) reason for our human existence. If I try to go back further to the reasons for God’s existence or a logical purpose for “heaven”, I wind up slamming into the proverbial wall.  Right now all I can do is assume that the all-encompassing power of all creations that we have personified into a god or gods exists – and has always existed – just because “that’s the way it is”.  The other existence (or existences) that we normally refer to as “heaven” are there (or here) for the same reason – although I do strongly feel that there is probably some type of “love” foundation supporting the presence and activities of these existences.

So what are we humans doin’ here on earth?  With the above foundation in place, the answer to this question is a bit more obvious.  We’re here to learn!  If we are indeed just another one of the inhabitants of heaven, we’re likely somewhere on the road between “Just Startin’” and “Almost There” in a developmental process.  Assuming that “There” is probably unachievable, “Almost There” would be a desired destination.  The more closely we approached that level of development, the more capable we would be of performing whatever tasks that needed to be accomplished.  Or maybe the main goal of the “system” is simply development of the individual entities that make up the system.  It would seem that this would tend to make the overall system stronger.

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before April 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

*****

Another Note: You can now catch me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/geneatnupathz  (You may need to copy and paste this into your browser window to actually get there…)  OK, whatever…

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy, ‘So I hear you’re getting married?’

‘Yep!’

‘Do I know her?’

‘Nope!’

‘This woman, is she good looking?’

‘Not really.’

‘Is she a good cook?’

‘Naw, she can’t cook too well.’

‘Does she have lots of money?’

‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’

‘Well, then, is she good in bed?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’

‘Because she can still drive!’

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A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.

‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.  High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ‘Wedding Cake.’

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before April 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

*****

Another Note: You can now catch me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/geneatnupathz  (You may need to copy and paste this into your browser window to actually get there…)  OK, whatever…

RANDOM THOUGHTS

An assortment of thoughts, observations and opinions developed over dang near seven decades.  In no particular order - or obvious sense of logic for that matter…

My Ancestors had Guts

And big balls too, for that matter.  I think about a young Juriaen Westvael hitching a ride on a creaky ship from Europe to the America’s in the early 1640’s, about others giving up their homes and families to come to the New World, about the hardships and sacrifices in this country’s early years, about the back-breaking work, the sorrows, tears and yes, sometimes the bloodshed of those who came to settle this great land.  I think about their painfully slow trips westward and the efforts that went into building their homes, friendships and communities.  We need to occasionally think about those who came before us and through whose efforts and perseverance we exist today.  To all of them, I say “Thank you!”  I hope they can hear me.

I Wonder What They Are Thinking & Feeling

Those whose lives are so very much different from mine.  Those who live in wretched conditions in the big cities.  Those who live to party in every way you could possibly imagine.  Those who survive only through force and intimidation.  Those who have chosen a life of crime and deceit.  Those who live and try to survive in the impoverished conditions of the poorer – or war-torn countries.  Those who struggle daily to secure the bare necessities of life.  I wonder – and I thank God for permitting me to be who I am and living in the conditions in which I find myself.  I am so very fortunate.

Happiness

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. – Abraham Lincoln

Smiles

I probably smile at least as much, if not more, than most people.  Some of the reason may be because I have a tendency to see the humor in a lot of the usual hum-drum, day-to-day activities of us average folks.  The rest of it is because I just like to smile.  It makes me feel good.  And honestly, I get a huge kick out of smiling at others – especially people I don’t know – and seeing them smile back.  I feel that maybe I’ve helped make their day just a touch better.  And that’s a very good thing.  My motto?  Smile – it makes people wonder just what the hell you’ve been up to!

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before April 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

*****

Another Note: You can now catch me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/geneatnupathz  (You may need to copy and paste this into your browser window to actually get there…)  OK, whatever…

Brain Snacks (BS?) – a quick thought provided occasionally to enlighten or brighten your day (or not – your choice…)

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.   Do not walk ahead of me for I may not follow.  Do not walk beside me either.  Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.

5. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before April 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

*****

Another Note: You can now catch me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/geneatnupathz  (You may need to copy and paste this into your browser window to actually get there…)  OK, whatever…

This list of rules – or various forms of it – has been floating around the cyberspace for some time now with credit given to various individuals including Bill Gates and Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.  It’s time to set the record straight.  See the proper credits at the end of the list.

1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase “it’s not fair” 8.6 times a day. The kids got it from their parents who said it so often they decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When the parents started hearing it from their own kids, they realized rule #1.

2. The real world won’t care as much as your school does about your self-esteem. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. When inflated self-esteem meets reality most kids complain that it’s not fair. (See rule #1.)

3. Sorry, you won’t make $60,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label.

4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he’s not going to ask you how you FEEL about it.

5. Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn’t. In some schools, they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone’s feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. See rules #1, 2, and 4.

6. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren’t embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about American Idol all weekend.

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before April 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

*****

Another Note: You can now catch me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/geneatnupathz  (You may need to copy and paste this into your browser window to actually get there…)  OK, whatever…

I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

Duct tape won’t fix that.

Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.

Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.

We don’t keep firearms in this house.

Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

You can’t feed that to the dog.

I thought Graceland was tacky.

No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.

Wrestling’s fake.

Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

We’re vegetarians.

Do you think my gut is too big?

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