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For those of you who have been living in a cave for most of your lives, you can translate the “torqued” in the heading of this blog to “mad” or “angry”. Actually, I was going to use the word “pissed” (which everyone understands) but I thought it would look tacky in bold print. I’d hate to tarnish my image, ya know.
However for today’s discussion of anger, let’s quantify the intensity of our focus with the words “downright, flat-assed pissed off!” I think that’s quite clear. Let’s proceed.
The first question is “What makes you angry (as in pissed off)?”
Inconsiderate, rude people? Bad drivers? Lousy service? Brainless bosses? Dumb subordinates? Idiot lawyers? Answering machines? The government? Waiting in line? Foreigners? Big business? Potholes? Traffic jams? Airports? The news? TV programming? Your significant other? Your kids? Your neighbors? Uncle Harold? Aunt Edna? The stupid dog? The friggin’ car? The damned washing machine? Your lost keys? The toilet? The pillow? Your socks?
Wanna know what makes me really, really mad?
Hmmm, OK – how about what sometimes makes me upset and sort of irritated?
That would be me.
Me. Just me. I’m the one who “makes” me upset and sort of irritated once in a while. I’m the only one who can “make” me do that. No one else, no event, no situation can make me get mad. Our anger doesn’t come from the outside. It can’t. It’s strictly an internal emotion that surges – and sometimes even erupts – as the result of our perception and feelings about an “outside” situation.
From the way it looks, we humans are probably designed and assembled with the brain wiring and foundation programming it takes to feel and express anger.
Although experts disagree on the ability to logically differentiate between anger and distress in very young infants, we parents can all remember the early signals of displeasure to varying degrees in our youngin’s. Spitting the strained peas in Grandma’s face is a good example.