A Short Chat with God…

March 9th, 2010

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before January 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

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Another Note: You can now catch me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/geneatnupathz  (You may need to copy and paste this into your browser window to actually get there…)  OK, whatever…

 

 

A Short Chat…

 

 

Uh, God?

 

God…it’s me, Gene…

 

Yo, God!  You there?

 

HEY, GOD!!!

 

“Hmmmm?”

 

Is that you, God?

 

“Yep…”

 

Uh… do you have time for a short chat?

 

 “Just a sec…. lemme take care of this little asteroid thing… There, that’s better!  So Gene, what can I do for you?”

 

Well, I’m confused.

 

“It’s a common affliction among humans.  About what?”

 

About what I’m doing here.

 

“You mean right now at this very moment – or just in general.”

 

In general, I guess.

 

“OK… what do you think you’re doing there?”

 

Well, I guess learning about all kinds of stuff… and enjoying the things that are around me… and maybe sometimes helping a few people…

 

“OK…”

 

Well?

 

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Pets

March 4th, 2010

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before January 2010, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

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*From an e-mail that showed up recently…

 

 

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT DON’T, IT’S STILL A TRUE STORY.

 

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

 

 

Dear Dogs and Cats:

 

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.

The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate or food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

 

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.

Racing me to the bottom is not the object.

Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

 

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.

Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.

Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

 

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!

If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

 

The proper order for kissing is:

Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat’s rear. I cannot stress this enough.

 

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Is God Trying to Tell Us Something?

March 1st, 2010

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before December 2009, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

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*Even though this was written after Hurricane Katrina, it seems appropriate to pull it from the archives and provide it as “a few things to think about…”

 

 

We have a whole bunch of stuff happening in our world, don’t we?  Hurricanes, typhoons, earthquakes, floods, mudslides and a pile of other things produced by the actions or inactions of us silly humans.  So is there any particular significance in the fact that all of this is happening in a relatively short time frame?  Is “someone” trying to tell us something?  Are we getting a message from the Chairman of the Board of All Existences?

 

I does make you wonder, doesn’t it?

 

It looks to me like the answer to this question depends almost entirely on our perception of God.  Here’s what I mean.

 

If we’re thinking of God as an individual entity, living in heaven and presiding over our lives as an authoritarian (as in Father or Mother) figure – and who, by the way, metes out various degrees of reward and punishment depending on how we humans are conducting our lives, it would be reasonably logical to believe that we indeed, are being provided a warning message.  A forceful reminder that we are screwing up and need to take major steps to get our act together.

 

But, taking this one step further, our interpretation of this message – along with our designation of the intended recipient – is going vary depending on our personal beliefs - especially if we have a tendency to extrapolate these beliefs toward the outer limits of logic.  We all know what takes place.  A “bad” event happens to members of societies which are primarily Islamic or maybe even Hindu or Buddhist – and what comes next?  Christian extremists will quickly pick up their megaphones and start shouting “See, we told you so!  God’s trying to tell you guys something.  You’d better shape up and switch to Christianity or you’re toast!”

 

On the other hand, Islamic extremists are quick to point to the devastation produced by hurricanes, floods or earthquakes in the United States as an edict from Allah.  “See, we told you so!  Allah’s trying to tell all you evil people something.  You’d better shape up and switch to Islam or you’re toast!”

 

And yes, even from within our own society we have seen individuals point to a segment of our population and proclaim “See, we’ve been trying to tell you!  You’d better get on the ball and try to make something of yourselves.  God’s given you a message and you’d better pay attention!”

 

Geesh… we humans can be downright goofy at times – not to mention hurtful and counter-productive.  Shame on us!

 

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Giving 100 Percent – Plus…?

February 25th, 2010

 

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Now we all know that it is absolutely impossible for any of us to give more than 100 percent effort at anything we do including our job.  But maybe there’s more we need to know before we assume this is an absolute certainty.  For all of you who have been encouraged to “do more” and give at least “110 percent”, here’s an insight to help you reach those goals.  (This is of course, presented in line with the goals of this organization as a positive reinforcement to encourage “thinking” and “positive questioning” of the situations we encounter in our daily lives…)

 

 

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help:

 

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

 

Then:

 

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

 

and

 

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

 

But,

 

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

 

However,

 

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Which Way is Up?

February 23rd, 2010

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before December 2009, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

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I remember one of the things Mom used to say when someone had done something that didn’t completely make sense to her was “I’m not sure he (or she) even knows which way is up!”

 

Well Mom, guess what?  Ain’t nobody knows which way is up!  Yeah, yeah, I know.  Most of us if we were ever to be asked that question would point “up” in a direction above our heads and away from the ground we’re standing on.  But this is pretty arbitrary isn’t it?

 

Picture someone pointing “up” on the exact opposite side of the earth from where you are.  From a viewpoint of let’s say the moon, they would be pointing in a direction exactly opposite from you, wouldn’t they?  Or how about one of our astronauts cruising around this old planet on the space station?  Which way is up to him (or her)?  Is it toward the earth – or away from it?  Or is it relative to his body orientation – “up” being above his head – which can change position in the space station at any given moment?  Hmmm…

 

Try this thought.  Most of us are accustomed to seeing our planet positioned in its orbit around the sun in such an orientation as to place the geographic north pole in a “up” position.  Our northern hemisphere is always located at the top half of the sphere while the southern hemisphere is relegated to a lesser bottom position.  It just doesn’t seem fair, does it?

 

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Friday Silliness – The Fishing Trip-and more…

February 19th, 2010

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before December 2009, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

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The Fishing Trip

 

 

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip.

 

Two days before the group is to leave Frank’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.

 

Frank’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do?

 

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire.

 

“Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?”

 

“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said ‘guess who’?”  I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightie.”

 

“She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose petals all over.  She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes!  She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did.  And then she said ‘Do what ever you want.’

 

“So… Here I am.”

 

 

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Jest for the Pun of It…

February 17th, 2010

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before December 2009, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

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1.   A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.

 

2.   What’s the definition of a Will? (It’s a dead giveaway).

 

3.   Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like bananas.

 

4.   A backward poet writes inverse.

 

5.   In democracy it’s your vote that counts; In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

 

7.   A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

8.   If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

 

9.   Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

 

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

 

11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

 

12. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

13. You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

 

14. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

 

15. He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

 

16. Every calendar’s days are numbered.

 

17. A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.

 

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Positive Affirmations

February 15th, 2010

 

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POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

 

 

Never used ‘em.  Not likely to start now.

 

OK, so I just lied a little bit.  (Is that anything like being a little bit pregnant?)  I really didn’t mean to.  (Hmmm, that comment could be applicable to the pregnant thing too but actually I was referring to my lying.)

 

I guess the one positive affirmation that I commonly use is not so much a phrase that I repeat or think about periodically throughout the day – it’s more like an answer to a question.  The question?  “How ya doin’?”

 

My answer will likely be “Super!  And you?”  Once in a while it may slip to “Really good!” and occasionally it will pop up to “Fantastic!” but most of the time I cruise through the day at a “super” level.  Do I mean it?  Well, of course I do.  I wouldn’t lie about something like that.  And no, I wasn’t always “super” – but many years ago I started saying it anyway because I had heard that if you start thinking more positively your life will be better.  So I tried it and it worked – well, sort of.  Once I figured out – with help naturally – that I really had to do something to make some changes in my life so that it would be “super” – it became “super”.  I’m still doing things and making changes so that I can be “double super”.  I think that probably equates to somewhere close to “fantastic”.

 

So I guess when you get right down to it, I do use a positive affirmation – along with positively oriented actions to do those things I want to do.  But that’s it.  That’s the only positive affirmation I use!

 

OK, except for maybe another exception that I just thought of.  When I get out of bed in the morning and am having my first cup of coffee, I do think about what a great day it is (yes, no matter what the weather is or what I need to do that day) and how great it is to be alive and to be able to experience just living.  I think about that for awhile and then I chat with my spiritual director and say “thanks” for allowing me to be me and permitting me to have the opportunity to learn and enjoy this great creation.  Then I usually have another cup of coffee and think about this a little more as I make plans for doing those things I believe I should do during the day.  But that’s it.  That’s the only other positive affirmation I use!

 

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Yogi’s Quotes

February 11th, 2010

 

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Besides being a baseball legend, Yogi Berra has had a habit of periodically fracturing the English language.  Here are a few malapropisms that have been attributed to Yogi – and in some cases, probably erroneously.  In Yogi’s words (maybe) “I didn’t really say most of the things I said.”

 

 

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

 

 

Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.

 

 

How can you hit and think at the same time?

 

 

I don’t know (if they were men or women fans running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.

 

 

I don’t want to make the wrong mistake.

 

 

If people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them?

 

 

I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

 

 

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

 

 

It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

 

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The Train of Life

February 9th, 2010

 

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THE TRAIN OF LIFE

 

 

Some folks ride the train of life

Looking out the rear,

Watching miles of life roll by,

And marking every year.

 

 

They sit in sad remembrance,

Of wasted days gone by,

And curse their life for what it was,

And hang their heads and cry.

 

 

But, I don’t concern myself with that,

I took a different vent,

I look forward to what life holds,

And not what has been spent.

 

 

So strap me to the engine.

As securely as I can be,

I want to be out on the front,

To see what I can see.

 

 

I want to feel the winds of change,

Blowing in my face,

I want to see what life unfolds,

As I move from place to place.

 

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