Holiday Eating Tips

December 1st, 2013

 

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Note: To view other stuff from Gene’s Blogs, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/   It’s all in there somewhere…

 

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HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1.  Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit.  In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.  Go next door where they’re serving rum balls.

 

 

2.  Drink as much eggnog as you can.  And quickly.  It’s rare.  You cannot find it any other time of year but now, so drink up!  Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip?  It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat.  Enjoy it.  Have one for me.  Have two.  It’s later than you think.  It’s Christmas!

 

 

3.  If something comes with gravy, use it.  That’s the whole point of gravy.  Gravy does not stand alone.  Pour it on.  Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes.  Fill it with gravy.  Eat the volcano.  Repeat.

 

 

4.  As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass.  Why bother?  It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

 

 

5.  Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it.  Hello??!!

 

 

6.  Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s.  You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.  This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

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A Kindergarteners’ Thanksgiving Cookbook

November 27th, 2013

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before June 2012 just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/  They’re all in there somewhere…

 

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For the seven of you who have never seen this before – and for those of you who think you might have but it was probably at least a year ago so you’re not sure…

 

 

A Thanksgiving Cookbook

by Mrs. Geraghty’s Kindergarten Class

 

Note: Mrs. Geraghty will not be responsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook

 

 

Ivette - Banana Pie: You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it.

 

Russell – Turkey: You cut the turkey up and put it in the oven for ten minutes and 300 degrees. You put gravy on it and eat it.

 

Geremy – Turkey: You buy the turkey and take the paper off. Then you put it in the refrigerator and take it back out and cut it with a knife and make sure all the wires are out and take out the neck and heart. Then you put it in a big pan and cook it for half an hour at 80 degrees. Then you invite people over and eat.

 

Andrew – Pizza: Buy some dough, some cheese and pepperoni. Then you cook it for 10 hours at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.

 

Shelby – Applesauce: Go to the store and buy some apples, and then you squish them up. Then you put them in a jar that says, “Applesauce”. Then you eat it.

 

Meghan H. – Turkey: You cut it into 16 pieces and then you leave it in the oven for 15 minutes and 4 degrees. You take it out and let it cool and then after 5 minutes, then you eat it.

 

Danny – Turkey: You put some salt on it to make it taste good. Then you put it in the oven. Then you cook it for an hour at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.

 

Brandon – Turkey: First you buy it at Fred Meyer. Then you cut it up and cook it for 15 hours at 200 degrees. Then you take it out and eat it.

 

Megan K – Chicken: You put it in the oven for 25 minutes and 25 degrees and put gravy on it and eat it.

 

Christa – Cookies: Buy some dough and smash it and cut them out. Then put them in the oven for 2 hours at 100 degrees. Then take them out and dry them off. Then it’s time to eat them.

 

Irene – Turkey: Put it on a plate and put it in the oven with gravy. You cook it for 1 minute and for 100 degrees. Then it’s all cooked. Your mom or dad cuts it and then eat.

 

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Some Things I Learned Very Young Growing Up on the Farm

October 28th, 2013

 

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Note: To view other stuff from Gene’s Blogs, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/   It’s all in there somewhere…

 

Download Free – James Allen’s “AS A MAN THINKETH” See below for info…

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Baby chicks smell good and feel funny when they walk on your hand.

 

Caterpillars don’t taste very good.  Box Elder bugs either…

 

If something tastes bad, spit it out.  Unless it’s spinach, then you have to eat it anyway.

 

Freshly mowed alfalfa smells really good.  Sweet clover in bloom does too.

 

Frogs can make a lot of noise at night.

 

Wasps can sting you more than once.

 

Animals and birds make more animals and birds by humping.  People too.

 

Dried cow patties can fly – sort of like a pie tin.  (This was before Frisbees…)

 

Dried corn silk doesn’t make a very good cigarette.

 

Hay mows (that’s pronounced like the “ou” in ouch… not like “oh”) are a great place to hang out with the neighbor girl.  OK, city slickers – a hay mow is the area on the upper floor of the barn where you store… yep, hay…

 

You can swim in the irrigation ditch.  (Irrigation ditch – a medium-sized ditch that is used to transport water from a lake or reservoir to farmers many miles away.)

 

Skinny dipping feels funny.

 

Ditch water tastes really bad.  (Think cows upstream…)

 

Hens can peck really hard when you’re trying to reach under them to gather their eggs.

 

Throwing eggs down a cistern (a place where water is stored) will make your Dad really mad.

 

You can kill a chicken with an BB gun.

 

Chickens are stupid.

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I’m Gettin’ Really Torqued!

March 10th, 2013

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before June 2012, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/   They’re all in there somewhere…

 

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For those of you who have been living in a cave for most of your lives, you can translate the “torqued” in the heading of this blog to “mad” or “angry”.  Actually, I was going to use the word “pissed” (which everyone understands) but I thought it would look tacky in bold print.  I’d hate to tarnish my image, ya know.

 

However for today’s discussion of anger, let’s quantify the intensity of our focus with the words “downright, flat-assed pissed off!”  I think that’s quite clear.  Let’s proceed.

 

The first question is “What makes you angry (as in pissed off)?”

 

Inconsiderate, rude people?  Bad drivers?  Lousy service?  Brainless bosses?  Dumb subordinates?  Idiot lawyers?  Answering machines?  The government?  Waiting in line?  Foreigners?  Big business?  Potholes?  Traffic jams?  Airports?   The news?  TV programming?  Your significant other?  Your kids?  Your neighbors?  Uncle Harold?  Aunt Edna?  The stupid dog?  The friggin’ car?  The damned washing machine?  Your lost keys? The toilet? The pillow?  Your socks?

 

Wanna know what makes me really, really mad?

 

Nothing…

 

Hmmm, OK – how about what sometimes makes me upset and sort of irritated? 

 

That would be me. 

 

Huh?

 

Me.  Just me.  I’m the one who “makes” me upset and sort of irritated once in a while.   I’m the only one who can “make” me do that.  No one else, no event, no situation can make me get mad.  Our anger doesn’t come from the outside.  It can’t.  It’s strictly an internal emotion that surges – and sometimes even erupts – as the result of our perception and feelings about an “outside” situation.

 

From the way it looks, we humans are probably designed and assembled with the brain wiring and foundation programming it takes to feel and express anger.

Although experts disagree on the ability to logically differentiate between anger and distress in very young infants, we parents can all remember the early signals of displeasure to varying degrees in our youngin’s.  Spitting the strained peas in Grandma’s face is a good example.

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You Know You’re Not a Kid Anymore When…

February 8th, 2013

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before June 2012 just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

 

Download Free – James Allen’s “AS A MAN THINKETH” See below for info…

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You know you’re not a kid anymore when…

 

 

You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.

 

You can live without sex but not without glasses.

 

Your back goes out more than you do.

 

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

 

You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

 

You are proud of your lawnmower.

 

Your best friend is dating someone half his age…and isn’t breaking any laws.

 

You call Olan Mills before they call you.

 

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

 

You sing along with the elevator music.

 

You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

 

You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

 

You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

 

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

 

People call at 9:00 pm and ask, “Did I wake you?”

 

You have a dream about prunes.

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Really Scary Stuff…

January 28th, 2013

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before June 2012, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/  They’re all in there somewhere…

 

Download Free – James Allen’s “AS A MAN THINKETH” See below for info…

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With the probable exception of some basic instincts – or motivation toward self-preservation – we’ve just flat-assed learned to be afraid of about all the rest of the stuff we’re afraid of.  I know, the word “about” is a cop-out but I’m using it because I’m not really sure where this next mega-fear comes from.

 

The one fear that trips most of us up is – the FEAR of the UNKNOWN!!  It has provided the foundation for some really great movies and TV programs but it has also managed to slap the snot out of most of us at one time or another.  If someone will hum the theme to “The Twilight Zone”, I’ll proceed.  Thank you.

 

To start, let’s lump a bunch of this together into the category we’ll simply label as “The Future” (I think I’m overdoing this capitalization crap.  Sorry…) Most of us have a tendency to spend an inordinate amount of time and energy thinking about what is lurking just around the corner.  We imagine (as in image – create a mental picture of) all sorts of bad things.  We latch onto a few perceived facts and using our worst mental programming, fill in the blanks with the very worst negative scenarios we can possible conjure up.            We then extrapolate from this erroneous foundation through all the imaginary conversations and situations to the most creative, catastrophic conclusion possible.  What a cool thing to be able to do!   But here’s the best part.  If we focus really, really hard on our mental movie, there’s a fairly good chance that some of it may actually come true!

 

For those of you who are sure that I’ve blown a gasket, just hangy on a minute and you’ll see where I’m going with this…

 

OK, back to the future (I think I’ll suggest that as a title for a movie trilogy…).  Here’s what we know for sure about our future.  Nothing!  Zip!  Nada!  Gar Nichts!  Zero!  It just ain’t happened yet – at least that we know of.  And yes, based on our knowledge of the facts related to a given situation coupled with a fair amount of deductive reasoning we can predict with varying degrees of accuracy what may happen on down the road. But can we really know?  Ain’t no way in hell!  Life has altogether too many variables to be able to plug them into a pat formula to predict the future. 

 

I could waste time and space here giving you a pile of examples on how our personal projections have turned out to be something other than we expected.  We’ve all had enough life experiences so we can individually look back and grab a few dozen on our own.  Just think about projected conversations or confrontations with your boss, employees, significant other or children that never came to pass and you’ll get the idea. 

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Forty Ways to Determine Your Level of Inner Freedom

January 12th, 2013

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before June 2012 just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

 

Download Free – James Allen’s “AS A MAN THINKETH” See below for info…

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**A reminder from the archives…

 

 

In the category of “Some of the Best I’ve Ever Read”, here are some great words of wisdom from Guy Finley…

 

 

Want to know how free you really are? Good! You’re about to be presented with a unique opportunity to learn all about your individual level of inner liberty.

 

As you review each of the inner liberties on the list, just note mentally whether or not that particular freedom belongs to you. Our intention is simply to learn what’s true about ourselves, not to prove anything about ourselves. Allow these forty freedoms to awaken and stir that secret part of you that knows living in any kind of bondage is a lie. Then follow your own natural sensing all the way to the free life.

 

You’re Well Along Freedom’s Path When:

 

1. You have no desire to change places in life with anyone else.

 

2. You step over setbacks without stopping or looking back.

 

3. You accept and appreciate praise, but never take it to heart.

 

4. You don’t overeat or feel driven to diet.

 

5. You don’t think about your sex life.

 

6. You meet and do what’s true without fear of the consequences.

 

7. You really don’t want anything from anyone.

 

8. You stop thinking about how much money you may or may not have.

 

9. You don’t carry any upset from the last moment into the present one.

 

10. You have no interest in old resentments.

 

11. You start spending more time alone and enjoying it more.

 

12. You stop dreaming of the perfect vacation.

 

13. You’re neither frightened nor shocked by the evening news.

 

14. You stop making deals with yourself.

 

15. You dress for comfort, not for compliments.

 

16. You lose all interest in trying to win mental arguments.

 

17. You don’t blame anyone else for the way you feel.

 

18. You forget what it was you didn’t like about someone.

 

19. You’re awake to and spontaneously considerate of the needs of others.

 

20. You see beauty in life where you never could see it before.

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The Rules for Being Human

January 2nd, 2013

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before June 2012, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

 

Download Free – James Allen’s “AS A MAN THINKETH” See below for info…

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Just a reminder from the archives to start off the New Year…

 

 

THE RULES FOR BEING HUMAN

 

 

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

 

 

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called life.  Each day you will have the opportunity to learn lessons.  You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

 

 

3. There are no mistakes - only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error and experimentation.  The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately “works”.

 

 

4. A lesson is repeated until it is learned.  A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it.  When you have learned it, then you can go on to the next lesson.

 

 

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons.  If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

 

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Children’s Answers to Questions about Mothers

November 7th, 2012

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before April 2012 just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

 

Download Free – James Allen’s “AS A MAN THINKETH” See below for info…

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Why did God make mothers?

 

1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is

2. Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.

3. Mostly to clean the house.

4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

 

 

How did God make mothers?

 

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. He made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts

 

 

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?

 

1. We’re related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

 

 

What ingredients are mothers made of?

 

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world, and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

 

 

What kind of little girl was your Mom?

 

1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

 

 

How did your Mom meet your dad?

 

1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

 

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A Casual Bystander’s View of Sports

October 27th, 2012

 

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Note: To view Gene’s Blogs posted before April 2012, just visit the “Articles” and “Odds ‘N Ends” sections of NuPathz at http://www.nupathz.com/

 

Download Free – James Allen’s “AS A MAN THINKETH” See below for info…

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I’ve really never been a sports-minded person.  Sure, I participated in a bit of basket shootin’ and hittin’ the ball around when I was in grade school but that’s as far as it ever went.  The reason may have had something to do with the size of rural school where I attended grades one through eight.  I guess when there is a total student population of 14 – yes, in all grades, girls included – it’s a little difficult to completely grasp the “team sports” concept.

 

High school was a different story though.  Growing up in sports-minded Nebraska, I certainly had every opportunity to get involved in football, or even basketball or track for that matter.  So why didn’t I?  Well, probably because I was really (and I mean REALLY!) a shy farm boy with the self-confidence of a grape.  I took me a lot of years to wiggle my way out of that hole and truthfully, depending on the situation, I still have my moments.

 

As a result, I never really developed a full appreciation for either individual or team sports activities.  I don’t have any favorite sports “stars” (well, maybe with the exception of NASCAR driver, Mark Martin…) nor do I root for any particular team – in any sport.  Oh sure, I do appreciate the effort and training it takes to become skilled in any of the sports.  And I have a basic understanding of the techniques and strategies involved in many of the sports activities.  But that’s about as far as it goes.  Sick, huh?

 

Having said that, I’d like to take a minute to offer a big round of applause for all of those creative individuals and organizations that have contributed in any way to our present sports activities.  Through their efforts, we as a society are now able to:

 

 

Spend countless hours every week nestled comfortably in our recliners, drinking beer and ignoring the rest of the world.

 

Swear at the TV without being considered weird.

 

Cook brats on a grill in a public parking lot.

 

Watch bouncing boobies on the sidelines without being the recipient of disapproving looks from our spouses – or…

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