Stuff I Still Don’t Understand
I like to think – about all kinds of different stuff. And, I like to try to understand the logic behind the things we do or why things are the way they are. And yes, I like to think about all kinds of options to current beliefs and come up with my own “what if’s”. Here are a few things I’m still having trouble with though.
Suits and ties: Where the hell did those come from? I know, it’s probably part of an evolutionary process and all started with the upper class folks a long time ago dressing really fancy to show the peons that the snooty dudes were extra special. Besides, they could afford it. So? Why are we still being programmed to believe that the kinds of clothes we wear carry a connotation of professionalism or education or high society – or working slob, cowboy, hooker or a pile of your choice of other categories of folks. Think about it. Why should a scrap of cloth tied around your neck mean anything other than you lost a collar button and wanted to keep your neck warm? Why should it mean that I’m “professional”? Gosh, we’re easily led, huh? Maybe I’ll just tie a tampon to the frame of my glasses and tell everyone that it means that I’m “professional”. I could dye it black for formal occasions. OK, I’ll let that thought go…
Talking to TV sets: There must be something here that I just don’t understand. Maybe you can help me. Have the TV manufacturers secretly built a two-way communications apparatus into our electronic devices? You know what I’m talking about, right? Our friends and relatives (should I include you in this?) who actually spend some part of each day talking – or even yelling – at the TV? “Oh my God. You idiot!” “Choose the other briefcase! The other briefcase!” “Don’t buy a vowel now, you stupid horse-face!” “Block, you bastards!” “The ball was in your hands, you fumble-fingers!” “Watch out for number 42!” “Jeezus, how stupid can you be?” Seriously now, if this kind of input to the TV can influence the outcome of contests and competitions, I’d really like to know. Maybe I should be trying to talk to God this way instead of using the standard antiquated, non-technical methods. I really need to know…
Talking on cell phones: Why do folks still talk on their cell phones while driving when everyone should know that they’re four times more likely to have an accident? They could get the same effect and have a hell of a lot more fun by drinking! What am I missing here? (OK – chill out! Drinking and driving is really stupid!)
My Granddaughter: Why does my Granddaughter continue to feel that it is OK to walk into the room and immediately start talking to me when it is obvious that I’m on the phone? Do you think she seriously believes that there is no one on the other end of the line (a hold-over phrase from ancient times) and that I’m just warming my ear? Maybe it’s one of those “if you can’t see ‘em, they don’t exist” things…
The shortest line: Why is it the shortest line always seems to move the slowest? (I know, that’s an old problem. But it’s still bothersome….)
Lights: Where does the light go when you turn the
switch off? Does it go to light heaven
and is reincarnated when you turn the switch back on? Maybe it just goes to
OK, enough of this silliness. I’m going to try on a tie and see if I can make my eyeballs bulge out…
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