MP What?

At the ripe old age of “almost older than dust”, I’ve found there are several things I can do without. Here are some of them:

Cell phone – OK, to be honest here, I do have a cell phone – but I never turn it on. It’s one of those old-fashioned, bulky ones that I have just for emergencies. And no one has the number either. The way I look at it, if I’m away from the home phone, I just don’t want to be bugged by folks. I like being able to focus on what I’m doing and enjoy whatever it is without interruption. Silly, huh?

Update: I no longer have a cell phone. My wife has one. My granddaughter now has one –one of those new slim, miniature, streamlined gadgets that you can use to text message Mars if you wish. I don’t have one. I’m happy…

Digital camcorder – And no, I’ve never owned an older analog model either. Now admittedly, if they would have had these things back when the kids were growing up I probably would have used it. Instead, I occasionally dragged out the 8mm movie camera and shot a few feet of film with that. It seemed to work out OK.

(For you young folks, an 8mm movie camera is a pre-VHS device that used a spool of skinny film that you would “shoot” and then send off to be developed. We used it mostly to take pictures of the buffalo herds and our covered wagons.)

MP 3 Player – I can’t think of a single reason that I would want to wander around the back yard – or anywhere else for that matter - listening to music… or watching music videos or TV shows. Music is for sitting back in the recliner and being able to absorb the sound – and appreciate the blend of instruments and the vocalist’s interpretation of the lyrics. Even that is hard to do with some of the stuff that folks are loosely categorizing as “music” these days. I know. I’m just being old-fashioned. Although, come to think of it, it might be nice sometime to just kick back under the old maple tree and soak up a few C&W tunes. I wonder if my Emerson transistor radio still works…

Satellite radio – I seems to me that there is plenty of stuff available through the regular FM channels without having to fork out extra bucks just to have a selection of a hundred and sixty other things to listen to. Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s digital transmission and no commercials. Nah, not for me…

Karaoke machine – Let’s see, if I purchase one of these gadgets I’ll be able to hold a microphone and in front of some quantity of other people, make an ass out of myself by pretending that I’m a big star and can really carry a tune. Don’t think so…

GPS receiver – OK, a long, long time ago I learned how to read a map – and highway/street signs. My vehicle also has an odometer. Since I don’t wander off the beaten path into the puckerbrush (that’s real close to the boondocks for you city slickers), I can’t think of a single reason I would need an electronic gadget to tell me something I already know. Maybe there’s something I don’t understand here.

PC games – Truthfully, I have played solitaire a couple of times. You know - the game that comes at no extra cost with the basic software. Oh, and I occasionally pop into one of the games – the simple silly ones – that I have in the “Take a Break” section of the NuPathz site. That’s it. Sure, I do understand that a whole bunch of folks really enjoy playing all kinds of different games and that’s OK. It’s frequently a way to exercise the gray matter and the on-line games do offer a chance to socialize. That’s a really good thing for a lot of people. So it’s OK, it’s just not for me.

A state-of-the art PC – Let me think real hard about this….nah, for word processing, spread sheet and web site program, I think my plain-Jane system will be working just fine for a while. (A 386-based system is good enough, right? Just kidding…)

Home weather station – Actually, I have one of these. It’s called the front door. Anytime I want, I can know almost immediately if it’s hot – cold – wet – dry – calm or windy. Works for me…

Atomic clock – If I ever have a need to know down to the precise fraction of a second what time it is - we’re both in trouble!

Rapid beverage chiller – This comes under the category of planning. If I go to the store one day and am smart enough to put the drinks in the fridge, I’ll bet they’ll be cold by the next day – when I need them.

Electronic pillbox – I just saw this at one of those super-duper electronic store web sites. Not only does it have a programmable alarm - it comes equipped with a two-ounce liquid capacity and a straw. Think I should get one for my vitamins? Nah…

PDA – Now I know there are a whole bunch of folks who are really, really busy and need to keep track of a whole gob of things – but I ain’t one of ‘em. Even when I was fairly busy out in the real world, I found that my little pocket scheduler worked just as easily – and was just as fast – as a PDA. The way I look at it, if you need to access e-mail or update a Word document while you’re sitting on the potty, you’re way too busy. This is another gadget I can do without…

Playstation/Xbox – Remember the “don’t do games” thing? Pretty well leaves these gadgets out, doesn’t it?

Broadband phone service – And why would I forego use of my standard wired-into-the-house phone for this? Can’t see any benefit here…

Laptop – Now I would imagine these things are pretty handy if you’re out and about a lot. I, on the other hand, find it quite convenient to walk a few feet to my “office” (OK, so it’s a room with PC, desk, books, guinea pig and parrot) to plunk down in front of my handy-dandy desktop. If I’m out and about, the last thing I want with me is a personal computer. Oh yeah, that and a cell phone…

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